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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30130551">It Got Us Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon2494/pseuds/anon2494'>anon2494</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Women's Association Football | Women's Soccer RPF, Women's Soccer RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Domestic Violence, F/F, Safe Haven, Strangers to Lovers, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:08:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,212</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30130551</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon2494/pseuds/anon2494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Darkness. That’s all she feels in the moment. Cold, shivering darkness. She knows she’s not alone, but she’s never felt more alone before.</p><p>Or</p><p>a story based loosely on Nicholas Sparks' Safe Haven</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tobin Heath/Christen Press</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>307</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'll Morph to Someone Else</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Darkness. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Surrounded in darkness. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>No light, it was suffocating. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She could feel his breath, feel his stare, feel HIM. Suffocating. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>This is it. This is the end. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The bump of the bus jerks her awake, wide-eyed staring around. The elderly lady in the seat across from her gives her an odd look, silently questioning if she’s ok. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She forces a smile, curling back into herself, hoping the lady was the only one who noticed her. She looks out the window, as the road winds onward.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Darkness. It’s how she defines herself now</em>.</p><p> </p><p>____</p><p> </p><p>Sun.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing she feels in forever is the sun. The brightness shines through the treetops of the surrounding woods. Trickling through the canopy created by the branches.</p><p>And maybe the significance is not that she feels the sun, it’s that she FEELS at all.</p><p>Feelings had not been her friend in a long time. Longer than she can remember.</p><p> </p><p>As she steps off of her porch and onto the ground, she wonders how feelings came to be so monumental in her life, and yet so unimportant. How acknowledging her feelings is monumental. The reality that she feels the sun, that’s not so important. The thoughts about how her opinions on feelings came to be? Those thoughts are probably best kept tucked away.</p><p> </p><p>The past month had been exhausting, but finally having this piece (or peace, whichever) to herself made it all worth it.</p><p>The small house (shack, maybe? whatever) was one open room. A small kitchenette, a full-size bed, a toilet and shower, curtained off in the corner. The white wooden walls on all four sides are open and make it feel larger than it is. The porch she’s standing on being the real selling point. Or maybe the selling point was the fact that she had practically no money so this was all she could afford. Whatever.</p><p> </p><p>But it was enough. It was home. It would house her in her solitude. Exactly how she wanted it.</p><p>The sound of a door opening causes her to look up and over to the neighbor’s house. (Although often she wonders if you can call it a neighbor when they are the only two houses in the middle of the woods outside of town. She can’t decide what else you would call it so, neighbor it is.)</p><p>So far this “solitude” thing was harder than she had imagined.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I heard you heading out.” Katie smiles from her porch steps.</p><p> </p><p>Katie was the only local Christen had really met so far. And really, Christen would prefer it stay that way. Solitude was what she wanted, what she needed. But Katie had quickly made her way into Christen’s daily routine, even if it was just a quick ‘hello’.</p><p>“Yeah, running into town to look for job postings again.” Christen responds with a smile. She’s fidgeting with the rips in her denim shorts. He always yelled when she fidgeted.</p><p>Its strange, really. They’ve only known each other for the few weeks Christen had been here, and yet she feels almost drawn to the woman in a way. When she first moved in, Katie had been there to help her in fixing as many of the small things as she could without any tools or supplies. There were so many repairs to continue to make, floors that need painting, but she needed supplies and tools to do that. Which required money first. Which brings her back to the conversation at hand.</p><p>She hasn’t learned a whole lot about Katie, other than the fact that she’s lived in town her whole life. Christen figures she must be a nurse on nightshift or something similar, since she never seems to see her during evening, but she’s always around during the day.</p><p>“Well, good luck! Hopefully this time will be the one. Maybe walk down Main Street. I’ve got a good feeling.” Katie waves one final time and heads back inside.</p><p>Christen nods and waves back with a smile. A genuine, real smile. Something she hadn’t been much able to do for as long as she can remember. The thoughts creeping back are quickly shaken off as she sets off for town. Main Street she supposes, if she’s listening to Katie’s suggestions.</p><p>It's early, not quite 8am, but she’s hopeful to at least get some leads today. She just needs a job. Any job. Well, any job that doesn’t ask too many questions about backgrounds or previous employment. That kind of job. Only that kind of job. This is the third time Christen has gone to town with hopes of finding income. For a town as small as Barview, she can’t imagine she’ll have many opportunities to begin with. And so far, the options have been a straight zero. Nothing. Like actually nothing. She had imagined a cute store or restaurant with a “Help Wanted” sign in the window, just like the movies.</p><p>But life isn’t like the movies, Christen knows this best.</p><p> </p><p>But, much like Katie, she has a good feeling today as well. Her plan of heading to the restaurants located right on the water seems like the best option for the day. She’d already checked most of the other main areas of the small town. She thinks she knows how to get there from Main Street.</p><p>As Christen walks into town, she can’t help but notice the overall actual quaintness of it all. If you had told 21-year-old Christen that she would live in a town like Barview, the Stanford graduate wouldn’t have even given you the time of day. She probably would have laughed. Like actually laughed. But Christen’s past would indicate that no one can or should even try to predict their lives. Six years later, she feels like a completely different person.</p><p>It’s this thought alone that sends an actual shiver down Christen’s spine, causing her to flinch and immediately turn in all directions to confirm she’s still safe. Still here. Still alone.</p><p>Unfortunately, turning in all directions also means turning around, which means not facing forward. Which in this case, means running right into something.</p><p> </p><p>Or, someone.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, if this situation taught her anything, it should be that she should spend a little time working on her core strength. Maybe get back into yoga like she was years ago. <em>Before… </em>Because running into a random person on the street should not send you flying back onto your butt, however, that’s exactly what happens.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry”</p><p>“I’m sorry I was turned around—”</p><p>“No really, that was my fault, I had my headphones in, and I wasn’t looking”</p><p>“No really, I was facing the total opposite direction, so it was my fault.”</p><p> </p><p>At this admission, the stranger, who Christen assumes was out for a run based on outfit and overall glistening sweat, stops and smirks slightly. Christen can’t help but notice all the things about this new stranger she literally ran into. She’s athletic, tan, she has brown hair, though it’s pulled up into a ponytail/bun combo. Her eyes are brown but have flecks of almost gold in them. She has on black shorts, a white tank top, and Nike running shoes. </p><p> </p><p>“So why exactly were you facing the opposite direction in which you were walking?” The stranger continues smirking at her.</p><p>It’s in this moment Christen decides she should have kept her mouth shut, let the stranger apologize, and moved on. But she didn’t. You’d think she’d be good at keeping her mouth shut by now. <em>He always told her to keep her mouth shut…</em></p><p>At that train of thought, Christen’s head immediately whips around like it normally does. But she’s still here. Still safe. Still alone.</p><p>If the stranger notices, she doesn’t comment. But the slight tilt of her head indicates maybe she does notice. Christen really hopes she doesn’t notice.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I just thought I heard something behind me, maybe a dog or something, that’s all.” Christen brushes off and answers as she begins to pick herself up.</p><p>The stranger lends her hand, which Christen hesitantly excepts, to pull her off the ground. With an awkward wave and a “Sorry again!”, Christen takes off in the direction of the row of restaurants in town, back on task of getting that job, leaving the stranger in the dust.</p><p>“Wait, are you sure you’re ok?” the stranger calls after.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m good, sorry again!” Christen responds, hardly turning around.</p><p> </p><p>What Christen doesn’t see is the stranger standing there confused and perplexed. She had never seen this woman in town before. And she would have remembered if she had. The piercing green eyes, the soft, dark curly hair. She would have remembered seeing her. So, to say she was confused would be an understatement. But clearly, the mystery girl was on a mission if her spacey powerwalking (before the accident) and the quick escape (after the accident) have anything to say about it.</p><p> </p><p>As Christen continues her walk to the coastal streets, she can’t help but berate herself for even speaking to the stranger. Solitude. That was the plan. Though literally running into someone could be forgiven, since it was a total accident, she figures. It’s not as if they really even spoke. She didn’t even ask her name. Because it doesn’t matter. Solitude. That’s the plan. As her mind wanders, she thinks of the stranger’s eyes and the smirk she had at given her when slightly mocking her for not paying attention. Christen literally shakes her head to rid her mind of the woman.</p><p>Solitude. No friends (except Katie), no interactions (except that one… and hopefully work.)</p><p>Solitude - much harder than anticipated. </p><p> </p><p>As she comes to a seafood restaurant and sees that coveted “Help Wanted” sign she’s been imagining, Christen feels as though maybe things are going to be okay. Bounding up the stairs, she’s hopeful for the first time in a while.</p><p>Hope. A new feeling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a short interview with a head waitress named Ali, and another interview with the owner of the place, Christen was hired. Thankfully, since it’s a small-town restaurant, there’s a limited and manageable amount of information that they need from her.</p><p>“You can start tomorrow.” Ali says, a welcoming smile on her face that Christen genuinely believes. She hands Christen a handwritten training schedule for the week, letting her know she’ll be placed on the official schedule the following week. She also grabs her two t-shirts with the restaurant name on them for her to wear to work, paired with shorts.</p><p>If you had told 21-year-old Christen that she’d be excited about a job in food service, well that’s ridiculous. She has a degree in Marketing from a prestigious university, 3 years of work experience with a top Marketing agency in Los Angeles.</p><p>Well Christen Press does. 27-year-old ‘Chris Brown’ doesn’t have much work experience at all. None to put on a resume. No resume at all, in fact.</p><p> </p><p>A new life. That’s what she has now. And it starts as a waitress at a seafood restaurant.</p><p>With a job secured, Christen figures she can now spend her little remaining money on food, since what she had with her and what she had already gotten is long gone. The interview and hiring process had taken several hours, but it’s still early enough to hit a grocery store on her way home. She remembers seeing a store on the other side of the small town, so she heads that way. Specifically, more conscious of her surroundings so that she doesn’t run into anyone again.</p><p>“Heath’s General Store” Christen reads the sign out loud to herself, wondering for a moment who “Heath” is and why he feels the need to be so possessive in owning the only General Store she’s seen in town. Odd as it seems, Christen realizes that she’s never lived in a place like this before. So, maybe putting your name on your store is normal in a small town. She’d grown up in the city and never truly left the city life. Sure, they’d gone on vacations before, skiing in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. But those towns, quaint as they were, were not like Barview, Oregon. They were built for tourism, while Barview is built for… well Christen isn’t sure what it’s built for. Fishing, she guesses. That seems to be the main thing going on around here.</p><p>Her assessment is apparently confirmed when she walks into the General Store and there’s a huge fishing section over to the left of the entrance. ‘Cool, so to fit in here and seem like a local, I just have to get over my massive fear of worms… and pointy hooks.’</p><p>Christen thinks to herself, as she walks past the first few aisles, and onto the food sections. She takes her time, picking out some staple items she thinks will be easy to fix with her limited resources. She notices a few backpacks on a small rack in the corner, promptly checking prices to see if she can afford one. She’s excited to find one that fits in her non-existent budget, knowing that purchasing it will effectively wipe out her limited funds, but also knowing it’ll be nice to have when making walks back and forth from her home to the town.</p><p>She brings all of items to the front, setting them on the counter in front of the freckled-face woman behind the register. When the woman briefly turns around, Christen notices the back of her store t- shirt says “O’Hara” and Christen feels the name fits the woman. A very Irish name, Christen thinks. But not the “Heath” who possessively owns the store.</p><p>“Hey there, find everything ok today?” the woman asks as she begins ringing the items up for Christen. She has a kind smile, and Christen feels that she’s being genuine.</p><p>
  <em>Granted, maybe she isn’t the best judge of character. </em>
</p><p>“Ah, yeah, thanks.” Christen responds, reaching into her small purse to pull out the last of her cash reserve to purchase the food and backpack.</p><p>“Great. Do you need a bag for all of this?” O’Hara asks.</p><p>“Oh, uh no thanks. ….. I’m just, uh. I’m just going to put it in the backpack.”</p><p>“Oh, ok well allow me.” She responds, unzipping the bag and placing Christen’s items in it.</p><p>“So, new in town? Or just visiting?” O’Hara asks, taking Christen’s money from her to finalize the transaction.</p><p>“Oh, uhhh new I guess.” Christen answers, quickly grabbing and zipping up her back to make a quick exit.</p><p>“Well, my name is Kelley, let me know if I can help you in any way.” The new stranger, Kelley, says, waving as Christen makes her exit.</p><p> </p><p>She’s feeling freed from the constraint of having to talk to another person, looking back at the store to make sure the new stranger wasn’t watching her (a habit she unfortunately has now), when for the second time today, she runs right into something.</p><p> </p><p>Or, someone.</p><p> </p><p>Again.</p><p> </p><p>This time, she manages not to fall over, however her backpack does fly off of her shoulder from the force. Luckily this stranger manages to catch it before it hits the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Ya know, the things they say about eyes in the back of your head? That’s not real. You can’t actually have eyes there.”</p><p>Of course. Of -freaking- course she’d run into the exact same person as earlier.</p><p>This time, she decides to do what she wishes she had done before, smile, accept the apology, and walk away.</p><p> </p><p>Except, no apology comes. Just more teasing.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ll let beautiful women run into me as many times as they want in a day, all I ask in return is just a name.” The stranger smiles, lifting her backpack up onto her shoulder for her.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. No.” Christen manages to get out, cringing at how awkward the statement is and how stressed she sounds. “I’m sorry for running into you… again. It won’t happen again.”</p><p>“Woah, hey no, I’m sorry. I was kidding. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” The brown-eyed woman says, staring at Christen and attempting to make eye contact, though Christen is adamantly avoiding it.</p><p>“Thanks, uh, for grabbing my bag so it didn’t fall.” Christen says, and with that, she walks away toward the safety of the isolation of her own home. </p><p> </p><p>She thinks she hears a “Yeah, no problem.” Or something like that. This time, Christen doesn’t dare turn around until she’s been walking long enough that she hopes the stranger isn’t watching. But she can’t hold out forever, so as usual, she turns around to ensure she isn’t being followed. She sees that the woman has just turned to walk into the store, meaning she watched Christen for at least 10 seconds. But that’s not what catches her attention.</p><p> </p><p>The thing that really catches her eye is the General Store t-shirt the woman was wearing. More significantly, the name on it.</p><p>There in big, white letters on the black shirt, it said: “HEATH.”</p><p>“Of course…”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I'm Fairly Local</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She wouldn’t.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She couldn’t.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She couldn’t hurt him, he thinks.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>But he overslept longer than he ever had, and when he awoke, she was gone.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He never sleeps that late, always waking early to her fixing him breakfast.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>As it should be.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Clothes missing, cash reserve depleted. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Her phone on the nightstand.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She’s gone.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>But he will find her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>__</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Walking throughout the store is a daily routine Tobin had established a long time ago; she always wanted to be sure everything looks exactly how it should. All cans facing forward, the bait section fully stocked. A routine her dad had taught her as a child that she continues to this day.</p>
<p>It’s just after 9am, the time the store usually opens on Mondays. Other days she opens earlier, but Mondays its always 9am. Tobin doesn’t always do the day-to-day operations of the store, but Mondays are typically hers.</p>
<p>Hence, why they open at 9 on Mondays.</p>
<p>Tobin hates mornings.</p>
<p>When the bell rings above the door, Tobin looks up from straightening box of cereal, where she sees a mass of curly hair walking through the first food aisle. Tobin looks back down and continues to whistle away as she’s finishing her once-over of the store. It takes a moment for her to process who the mass of curly hair belongs to, but once her brain catches up to her eyes, she’s snapping up and hunting down where the green-eyed woman is, assuming there aren’t two new people with dark, thick, curly hair in town.</p>
<p>Tobin had thought of the woman many times over the past two weeks. When she had gotten up and walked away without so much as a word aside from “sorry!” to Tobin, she was quite surprised.</p>
<p>Honestly, Tobin was smitten by her looks alone, but she also found the small interactions quite endearing.</p>
<p>As she rounds the corner, she sees the woman looking at the canned goods, a bag of rice already in her basket.</p>
<p>As Tobin walks over to her, she speaks up with hopes that the woman even remembers their previous interactions, “So, you can face the correct direction when walking, that’s good to know.” Tobin smiles and leans against the aisle, watching for recognition in the woman’s face.</p>
<p>Instead, well, she finds fear. The green-eyed woman jumps slightly at the sound of another voice, clearly assuming (incorrectly) that she was alone.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry” Tobin says, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”</p>
<p>The woman picks up a can she dropped in her startled state, placing it in the basket she had grabbed on the way in. “No, it’s fine, I just… I uh, I just scare easily, I guess.” The woman responds with a small smile, looking over at Tobin for the first time.</p>
<p>Her eyes are just as mesmerizing as Tobin remembers, maybe even more-so. “I’m Tobin, by the way. Again, I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable before. I promise, I didn’t mean to. I should have just introduced myself and not tried to be funny.” Tobin says, as the woman continues with her shopping. “Bad habits, I guess, since I just did it again.” She leans over, attempting to stick her hand out for a friendly handshake, but knocks into a can in the process, which tumbles to the floor. She picks the can back up, placing it on the shelf with a sheepish grin.</p>
<p>“Oh I, uh… yeah it’s fine. You didn’t. Didn’t make me uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>A beat, and then,</p>
<p>“Chris. My name is Chris.” The woman responds, looking at Tobin again briefly, before looking back down at the food on the aisle.</p>
<p>There’s something there in her eyes that Tobin notices when she says her name. Something Tobin doesn’t quite understand. But something about it tells Tobin that she doesn’t want to push it with this new stranger, so she lets it go.</p>
<p>“Well Chris, it’s a pleasure to meet you officially. Let me know uh, let me know if I can help you with anything. This, uh, is my store, so um, yeah. Let me know.” Tobin is not sure where her lack of ability to speak normally, or lack of normal motor function just came from. She feels like a teenage boy with a childish crush. Though that definition probably is pretty accurate right now.</p>
<p>Chris smiles at her though, so she feels a little better about her word vomit just now. She walks back over to the counter and begins calculating the stock numbers she counted this morning for the next order she needs to place.</p>
<p>Tobin is thankful, eternally, to be her own boss. To be able to wear the jeans/sweats and t-shirts to work. She looks down at her black shorts and “Heath’s General Store” t-shirt. To set her own hours and assign others to work (when she doesn’t want to – per example, mornings). Taking this shop from her dad was the best decision she’s made, possibly in her life, she thinks. She’s lost in those thoughts and math when a basket with a small stack of food groceries is placed on the counter. She looks up and sees the same green eyes that she hasn’t gotten out of her mind for the past two weeks.</p>
<p>Tobin is almost too stuck in those eyes to remember to speak, but thankfully she has enough sense to quickly remember basic customer service skills. “Find everything ok?” She asks as she begins to ring up the items for the woman.</p>
<p>“Yeah, uh yeah thanks. It’s a cute shop you have. Kind of a little of everything in it.” Chris responds to her, smiling shyly.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, kind of a one stop shop idea.” Tobin answers as she rings up the cans, rice and a few cleaning supplies. “It was my dad’s… the store was… well, the idea was too I guess, since he uh, opened the store.” Tobin mentally berates herself yet again for the inability to be a normal human around the woman.</p>
<p>Luckily for her, Chris just smiles at her, nodding along.</p>
<p>“Can I get you anything else?” Tobin asks, noticing the very staple-ness of the food items, and minimal amount. Beans, rice, bread, bottled water.</p>
<p>“Oh, no, this um, this is it, thanks” Chris responds, pulling out some cash to pay.</p>
<p>They finish the transaction and Tobin places everything in a small bag, pushing it toward the curly-haired woman. She watches as the Chris takes her backpack off of her back, putting the plastic bags of food into the pack and zipping it back up.</p>
<p>“Well, if there’s anything else you need, let me know, yeah?” Tobin says, rounding the corner of the counter to walk the woman out.</p>
<p>She follows her outside and notices that the woman begins to walk away towards the north side of town. She looks around and doesn’t see any cars or forms of transportation anywhere. She remembers her walking last time she ran into her (literally), but it didn’t mean much then.</p>
<p>“Wait, did you walk here?”</p>
<p>Chris turns around at the question, “Oh, uh yeah I did.”</p>
<p>“Is it a long way? I can have someone take you home, or I can get someone to cover the shop and take you.” Tobin asks, genuinely concerned for the woman. While the town itself is quaint and small, Tobin isn’t really a fan of anyone walking anywhere alone outside of the main town center, even during the day. Tobin always kept her runs in the populated area of the town. And that’s not the direction Chris is headed.</p>
<p>“Oh, no no, that’s uh, that’s not necessary. I’m good, I like to walk, thank you for the offer though.”</p>
<p>Tobin isn’t too convinced, but the woman turns around decidedly and walks away. She watches her go, not being able to help but notice the worn-out shoes she’s wearing, almost falling apart, as thoughts form in her mind of how to help the woman. She turned and walked back into the store, green eyes plaguing her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nine hours later, Tobin is walking up the steps to Shorty’s Fish Shack, ready to unwind for the evening. All day long, Tobin tried and failed to move her mind on from the woman who’s name she had finally learned today. Failed being the key word. Utter failure. Complete and utter failure. Honestly, Tobin isn’t sure why she even tried. Tobin looks up and sees Kelley and Allie out on the patio seating, knowing Alex wouldn’t be here tonight because her daughter, Charlie, wasn’t feeling well. As she walks over to the table, she sees her two friends laughing at something Megan is saying. The owner of the restaurant, and good friend to Tobin and her friends, is currently hanging around the table with Kelley and Allie, likely waiting on her to arrive.</p>
<p>“What up, losers? What’d I miss?” Tobin asks as she takes the open seat at the table.</p>
<p>Monday nights at Shorty’s was a tradition the group stood firm in keeping as often as possible. It began when Megan had first gotten a job at the restaurant when they were teenagers and continued on.</p>
<p>“Just another terrible joke from Megan, Harry, what’d you expect?” Allie responds to Tobin. They’ve called each other Harry for so long, neither of them is even sure how it started anymore.</p>
<p>“Alright, alright, leave my jokes alone or I might actually make you pay for your first round.” Megan says, walking away to bring drinks to the table that she already knows the crew wants.</p>
<p>Smiling and happy to be in her familiar place, Tobin’s mind is finally pushing the green-eyed, mysterious woman out of her mind. She figures she can take the night off from torturing herself over all the questions she has regarding the woman. That is, until she looks up and makes direct eye contact with those exact eyes.</p>
<p>Tobin was not expecting that.</p>
<p>There was Chris, clearing off a table in the dining room, where guests had just left. She’s clearly an employee, based on the apron, nametag, and the fact that she’s obviously working. Tobin waves at her through the window, since they make eye contact, with Chris shyly giving her a small wave back before retreating to the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Ok Tobes, who’s the new hotty waitress?” Kelley asks, leaning forward. “Allie and I have been trying to figure it out, but we can’t place her. I’ve seen her in the store once too; you obviously know her since you just waved at her.” Tobin loves Kelley like a sister, but sometimes she just wants to slap her upside the head.</p>
<p>“Yeah Harry, how do you know her, and we don’t?” Allie asks.</p>
<p>“I mean, I don’t really know her, I guess. She kind of ran into me a few weeks back when I was out for my morning run. Like literally ran into me. Then she came into the store today. But I don’t know anything other than her name.” Tobin responds, staring at the kitchen door, kind of hoping to see the woman emerge again.</p>
<p>Just then, Megan is back at their table with drinks, and Tobin realizes she has a perfect opportunity.</p>
<p>“Hey, Pinoe, question dude.”</p>
<p>“Hit me Toby, what’s up?” Megan responds as she sets the final drink on the table in front of Kelley.</p>
<p>“First, don’t call me Toby, we’ve been through this so many times. The new girl, the uh waitress, Chris, what can you tell me… uh tell us about her?” Tobin asks. She’s trying desperately to sound neutral and not as dire for information as she really is. “I’ve seen her a couple times at the store.”</p>
<p>“Chris? Yeah, she’s new here, new in town. Just started like two weeks ago. She’s normally on the morning/afternoon shift, but with Amy on vaca, I needed someone to take the evening and she volunteered. She seems super nice, very quiet. Super hard worker, like holy shit. Anyone who will take Tommy’s table on a Monday night and get raving reviews, they’re my hero cause I could not.” Megan says smiling and laughing to herself. A pause, and then. “Whatever you do, don’t be a jerk Tobin. I don’t need more heartbreak hotel going on with my waitresses.” Megan smiles slyly at the last words.</p>
<p>Tobin rolls her eyes, knowing she should have been prepared for a comment like that. “Excuse you, that was like one time, five years ago, and you know I am no longer the same type of person.”</p>
<p>It’s true, Tobin had been a bit of a heartbreaker in her younger years. But the past several years had taught her a lot, and truly changed her as a person.</p>
<p>“I know dude, I’m messing with you.” Megan responds, leaning behind Allie’s chair, “I honestly don’t know a whole lot about her other than she moved here less than a month ago and she lives out past Baker Street in one of Ashlyn’s grandparents’ old rental houses.”</p>
<p>“For real?” Tobin asks shocked, “She walked into town today. That’s like 4 miles one way.”</p>
<p>Megan sighed, “I was worried about that, but she’s always on time so I can’t really say anything. She keeps to herself so much. Anyway, I gotta run, I’ll send Ali ya’lls way with your food soon. Unless someone wants to change your usual order.” Megan smirks, pointing at each of them, knowing the trio never strays from their usual orders.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. We’re creatures of habit, we know. Bring us the usual.” Kelley says, casually flipping Megan off as she walks away.</p>
<p>Tobin kind of checks out for a moment, her mind once again running rampant with all the ideas of ways to help this new girl in town. Not really even knowing enough about her to know if/how/why she needs help.</p>
<p>“I know you Harry, I know what you’re thinking about something over there.” Allie says, taking a sip of the tap beer Megan had placed in front of her.</p>
<p>“Oh, uh, its nothing.” Tobin says, though her eyes betray her as they continue to glance to the section where Chris is working. “Actually, Harry do you still have that old bike you never use?”</p>
<p>Allie looks perplexed by the question, “The one with the busted wheel? Uh… yeah, in my garage. I keep forgetting to get Bati to take it to the dump.”</p>
<p>“Well don’t, cause I’m gonna need it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin and her friends often close down Shorty’s on Monday nights. The restaurant closes at 11pm, so “closing down” isn’t exactly late. Neither her nor Kelley work early on Tuesdays, so it works out well for them.</p>
<p>It’s just after 11:30pm, the trio finishing off their parking lot conversations, when Tobin sees Chris walk out the front door of the restaurant and down the stairs. She watches as she heads off in the direction of the store, and what Tobin now knows to be the direction of her home. With Kelley hollering goodbye and taking off, Tobin makes an impulsive decision, “I’m gonna go offer to walk her home.”</p>
<p>“Sorry… who? What?” Allie asks, looking up from her phone standing there confused. She was waiting on Bati to come pick her up, all of them deciding not to drive after having several drinks. Though, they were pretty much sobered up now.</p>
<p>“Chris, the new girl. She’s walking alone, my house is that way. I’m gonna go walk her home. Or at least as far as my house.” Tobin says. She doesn’t really give Allie a chance to respond before she’s walking away with a “Bye, Harry!”</p>
<p>“Hey, Chris! Wait up!” Tobin calls after the woman. She’s trying hard not to second guess this decision. The woman turns her head after hearing her name, slowing her walk to wait for Tobin to catch up to her.</p>
<p>“Hi, Tobin.”</p>
<p>“Hey. I uh, noticed you were walking this way, and um, this is also the way to my home, and I am also walking, so I figured I’d see if I could walk you home. Or at least as far as my own home.” She stumbles through the sentence, mentally cursing herself for that last shot Kelley insisted on. ‘We’re celebrating!’ ‘Celebrating what?!’ ‘Celebrating the end of another Monday!’</p>
<p>Dammit, Kelley.</p>
<p>“Oh… um. I….” the green-eyed woman starts to answer her, then kind of looks around and hesitates. Tobin feels she needs to reassure the woman - or give her an out to the offer. So, she decides to do both.</p>
<p>“Look, I promise, I just want to make sure you’re safe. Barview is a small town and is mostly a very safe place to be, but you can’t be too careful. Also, I promise, I’m harmless. We can go back to Ali and she’ll give you a raving review if you’d like.” Tobin smirks, grateful to see a small smile on the shorter woman’s face. “But, if you’re not comfortable with it, I understand.”</p>
<p>“Well…. As long as Ali would give you 5 stars, I guess there’s no harm in you walking with me as far as your own home.” Chris says as she turns to head off in the direction of both of their houses. Tobin is presently surprised at the joke, and also notices that it’s the longest sentence Chris has said to her so far. Tobin decides then and there that she loves the sound of her voice, so she’ll do anything to hear it again.</p>
<p>“So, Chris we’ve got about a mile-ish to walk before my own home. Tell me, what brings you to our little town of Barview?” Tobin prompts, hoping to get to know a little more about the mysterious woman.</p>
<p>“I ah, I guess I just needed a fresh start. A do-over. And it seemed like a good place to do it.” Chris states. Tobin notices that she looks around a lot. To be fair, it’s dark and late, and even the nicer, lit up streets are a little creepy.</p>
<p>“Ya know, that’s the exact reason I moved back home to Barview.” Tobin states.</p>
<p>“Yeah? Where were you before?” Chris asks, rubbing her arms together in the late evening breeze. A jacket. Tobin takes a mental note about a jacket.</p>
<p>“Well, I was in the military right out of college for 2 years, but I got injured and discharged.” Tobin says, “Barview was home, my dad’s health was declining, so I decided to move here to help him with the store. Never looked back, took over the store and never left.” Those thoughts bring both happy and sad memories for Tobin. She thinks of her time in the military, the PTSD she still suffers from, rarely, from the incident that ended her career. She thinks of her dad calling to tell her about the cancer diagnosis, and the short timeline they had given him.</p>
<p>“Wow, Tobin. That’s… a lot. I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“Oh, no it’s ok. I’ve made my peace with all of it. My dad was ready to go, and I’m happy here. It’s a sad story with a so-far happy ending.” Smiling, Tobin turns to make eye contact with Chris hoping to convey that to her. Chris looks over at her, returning her smile with a small one of her own.</p>
<p>“So, thoughts on Barview so far then? How’s the fresh start coming along?” they’re 5 minutes from Tobin’s house, which is still over 3 miles for Christen from her own. Tobin isn’t sure she’s interested in stopping though.</p>
<p>“It’s… small.” Chris laughs, “Smaller than anywhere I’ve ever been, I think. But, like I said before, I like to walk. So, it’s nice. It’s… good so far. I’m happy here.” Chris smiles, looking down at her feet. Tobin notices that every so often, she turns in multiple directions, just slightly, enough that she probably hopes Tobin doesn’t notice.</p>
<p>“Well, I hope it only gets better from here.” Tobin smiles, slowing down. “Ah, this is me, down this road. But um, you’ve got a long walk. Will you please let me drive you? Or walk the rest of the way with you?” She is trying hard not to beg, but the thought of the green-eyed woman walking the rest of the way home at midnight is not appealing to Tobin.</p>
<p>“Oh, no I’m… I’m ok.” Chris responds, looking back down, arms tucked into herself.</p>
<p>“Chris, really I don’t mind. My car is 30 seconds this way. I can have you home in no time.”</p>
<p>“No, ah really. I’m good. I like to walk alone, kind of relax from the shift before I go to bed.” She responds, and honestly, Tobin can’t argue with that logic, having used walking as a stress relief from work many times.</p>
<p>“Ok, I’ll make a deal with you. I give you my number, that way, if something happens on your way, you can call me.” Bartering seemed like the best option here, because Tobin knew she wasn’t winning this battle.</p>
<p>“Yeah… yeah ok, that’s fine.” Chris pulls out a small, cheap phone from her backpack, handing it over to Tobin who quickly types in her number. Tobin notices there are almost no contacts in the phone when she saves her own, but once again, tries not to pry or press for information. She decides her best plan is to get to know the woman, with hopes that she’ll open up in time.</p>
<p>“Perfect, so you’ll call me if you have any problems?” Tobin asks, backing away down her driveway.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’ll call you.” Chris replies, the small smile back on her face as she begins to back away.</p>
<p>“Goodnight Chris.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight Tobin.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. They Say Stay in Your Lane, Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Darkness. That’s all she feels in the moment. Cold, shivering darkness. She knows she’s not alone, but she’s never felt more alone before.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>He came home angry again. Drunk and angry. The usual Friday combination.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Christen had tried (and failed) to create calming atmospheres on Friday nights. Or any nights. But it never works. He’s always angry. And Christen is powerless against his anger. </em>
  <em>He slams a glass above her head as he towers over her, yelling and screaming about something, pressing her further into the wall. </em>
  <em>The potatoes weren’t right. Too much salt. The beans weren’t done, undercooked. His steak, overcooked.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Something. Something is always wrong.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It takes longer than usual this time, but the strike finally comes. Right across her cheek with a POP.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Christen bolts awake, shooting up in her bed, desperately looking around.</p>
<p>She’s safe. She’s here. She’s safe. She’s alone.</p>
<p>The nightmares were a common occurrence. Though, she wonders if there’s a difference between nightmares and memories experienced while sleeping. She doesn’t know.</p>
<p>She sees a light flare through the front window, and the panic she awoke with returns immediately. He can’t have found her. Not already. Not here, in nowhere Oregon.</p>
<p>Slowly, hesitantly, she gets out of bed, walking to the window above her sink - the one facing the front porch and road. Her entire body is shaking, terrified in the moment. She has no weapons, no way to defend herself from him, if this is him. She stays out of view, but glances to see what caused the light. In the road, she sees a large vehicle, maybe a truck. He didn’t own a truck. But still, she doesn’t know. The driver of the maybe-truck walks back from a tree to the driver’s side door, climbs in, and begins to back away.</p>
<p>Once the car is out of sight, Christen lets out a massive sigh of relief. Whoever the stranger in the maybe-truck is, and whatever they’re doing here, she assumes must be for Katie. They share a dirt-road driveway after all; she’ll have to ask the next time she sees her.</p>
<p>As she crawls back into her bed, she realizes that this is the life she is set to lead for the foreseeable future.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alone.</p>
<p>Solitude.</p>
<p>Safe.</p>
<p>But always in fear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen awakes in the morning feeling better than she did the first time she awoke last night, the nightmare than plagues her giving her the rest of the night off. She takes her time getting ready, going through her current finances and trying to decide if a yoga mat purchase could be wiggled in there – though she’s not sure where in town she could even buy one. As she braids her hair, already dressed in her jean shorts and purple Shorty’s t-shirt, her thoughts wander to the woman she’s now seen multiple times in town. The woman who keeps popping up in her thoughts, who always speaks with such kindness. Christen has been by the store a few times, purchasing food, and they’ve had several interactions since Tobin partially walked her home, mostly just the “hey, how are you” type conversations. However, each time she walks away, she finds herself more and more intrigued, desiring to go deeper in their conversations. Christen knows she can’t reveal anything about herself aside from her own made-up life details, but she can’t help herself but to wonder more about the General Store owner; she’s just… drawn in.</p>
<p>As she locks the door to her house, and steps down her porch, she recalls the vehicle from the night before. She glances over to the area that the driver came from and sees a bicycle leaning against the tree. A bicycle that certainly wasn’t there the night before. Christen looks all around before walking over to the bike. She sees a note in the basket, hesitantly picking it up after seeing her name, not her neighbor’s, on the envelope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Chris,</em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Allie hasn’t used or needed this bike in a long time. It’s not much, but it should help you get places a little easier. Stop by the store any time if you need anything for it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Tobin”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen stands back, stunned into a frozen state. So many questions fill her mind, like</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-how did she know where I live?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-she got me a bike?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-why is she helping me?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-who’s Allie? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On the last question, Christen surprises herself. How unimportant that detail is, yet the question still stands in Christen’s mind. Why, she’s too afraid to ask herself.</p>
<p>Christen decides then and there that she needs to draw the line in the sand for Tobin. She cannot, and will not, get close to any one for any reason. And having someone do something like this for her, well, that’s across the line. No matter how much she really would love not having to walk every day. Because no matter how much she tells people she likes to walk, no one <em>likes</em> to walk 8 miles a day, every day. She wonders for a moment if she’s overreacting –</p>
<p>but then her mind wanders to the last person who did nice things for her and- “Nope. Not happening.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she gets to the General Store a little while later, she sees Tobin standing out front with a little girl. She had never seen the girl at the store, or with Tobin before but decided to stow that thought away for later. Tobin is dressed in her usual General Store t-shirt but matched with board shorts and flip flops. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, and the two are detangling fishing lines and organizing a tackle box. At least, she thinks that’s what they’re doing. The most experience Christen has with fish is recommending the flounder on Tuesdays because that’s the daily special.</p>
<p>When Tobin sees her walking toward them, she smiles and her eyes light up, but promptly the smile fades as she sees the hooded expression Christen is only half-intentionally carrying. Tobin must sense that she’s in trouble, because she stands and moves slightly away from the little girl.</p>
<p>“Hey, uh, what’s up Chris? I see you uh, found the bike we left.” Tobin says, still trying to carry her smile, hoping she’s misreading Christen’s face.</p>
<p>Christen almost falters at the look on Tobin’s face; truthfully, she wants to accept this gift.</p>
<p>“Yeah, um, we need to talk. Alone, if we can, please.” Christen responds, eyeing the little girl staring wide-eyed at Christen. She can’t be more than 4 or 5 years old, but she gets the idea quickly as she darts into the store.</p>
<p>Watching after the little girl running behind the counter, “Uh, yeah sure. What’s going on? Something wrong with it?” Tobin looks back at Christen and asks with a sincerity Christen knows to be real. She’s spinning a ring on her middle right finger, almost in a nervous way.</p>
<p>“Um, no. Well… yes, but not in the way you think. I um, can’t take this. I need you to take it back.” Christen manages to get out, while actively pushing the bike towards Tobin.</p>
<p>“No, it’s ok, really Allie doesn’t use it, she has like a brand-new bike Bati got her a year ago. I just had to repair the wheel…” Tobin goes on, detailing all the repairs she did on the bike for Christen for another minute before Christen finally interrupts her.</p>
<p>“STOP Tobin, stop.” At that, Tobin abruptly stops talking about the small amount of paint touch up she did and how she added the basket to the front for Christen’s backpack or groceries. “It’s not… it’s not about that. It’s…. I don’t. I don’t want it. I don’t need your help. Or anyone’s help. And I really don’t appreciate strangers coming to my house late at night. I just… I just want to be left alone, okay? So, thank you, but no thank you.” And with that, Christen hands over the bike to an absolutely stunned Tobin, and walks away.</p>
<p>She feels a little bad. She had never had more than a short conversation with Tobin, then to just go off on her like that? Probably not the kindest thing to do. Gosh, what would her mother say?</p>
<p>The entire rest of her walk to work is filled with thoughts of doubt in regard to her reaction and conversation (monologue) to Tobin about the bike.</p>
<p>She likes Tobin, she’s a nice person. She fixed a bike for her. How bad could that be?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>‘You’re a terrible judge of character, your past would obviously indicate.’ Christen tells herself.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She pushes all those thoughts from her mind as she walks into work, grabbing her apron, clocking in, and setting about forgetting the whole situation.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, life is never that simple. Christen should really know this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chris, hey!” Her coworker and boss, Ali, smiles as she sets a drying rack full of glasses down next to her. “So, you get the bike yet? It had to have been nice to not have to walk all that way. I don’t know how you were doing that every day.”</p>
<p>Christen smiles, grabbing a glass and beginning to clean out the inside, chewing over her lip as Ali continues.</p>
<p>“Tobin was really excited to get it all set up for you, she told me all about it finally being done last night, when she was here picking up Kendall. I swear Tobin is happiest when she just has something to do with her hands. Fixing that bike up was something she had told Allie she wanted to do for a while, but never had a reason to. Not before you.”</p>
<p>Christen just smiles, nodding along as she replays everything Ali just said in conjunction with what she had said to Tobin, and her inner monologue while walking to work.</p>
<p>Christen feels terrible. She knew someone giving her a bike was harmless, but in her defense, nothing felt harmless to her. Ever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Because when you’ve been harmed like Christen, well…</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I uh… I gave it back to her. I didn’t take it.” She pauses and sighs,  “And I’m kind of thinking now, that maybe I was a little harsh on her.” Christen says, quietly looking down at the glass she was wiping out.</p>
<p>Ali kind of gives her a funny look, but smiles almost knowingly, “I’ve known Tobin a long time. She likes to do things for people. It’s kind of just… who she is as a person. She loves to give to people, whether it’s time or actual physical gifts. It’s safe to accept something from Tobes. She won’t expect anything in return, she really just loves to help.” Ali moves away from her, not pushing the conversation anymore, leaving Christen with her thoughts and the glasses in front of her. Ali had learned a lot about how Christen ticks as a person in the short time she’s worked there, so she just lets her mull over what she said.</p>
<p>Which is exactly what Christen does for the next 8 hours of her shift. And by the time she’s done, she’s made a decision on what she wants to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s just hoping Tobin agrees.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s late afternoon when Christen gets off of work and decides to see if Tobin is at the General Store. She’s had her entire, busy Saturday shift to consider Ali’s words and well, she’s right. Accepting a bike from someone who isn’t quite a stranger, but isn’t <em>really </em>a friend, is not a big deal. Christen doesn’t have friends.</p>
<p>Well, maybe Katie. And Ali is really starting to grow on her as a friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But now…. Maybe Tobin?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Solitude is hard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As she comes into view of the General Store, she sees the same little girl from earlier. Her hair in a now-messy ponytail, her overall shorts with a t-shirt underneath are pretty much soaked; she fits in this town, Christen thinks to herself, smiling.</p>
<p>The girl looks up and sees Christen coming and promptly runs to the door of the store yelling, “TOBY! That pretty lady from this morning is back! The one that yelled at you!”</p>
<p>Christen grins in embarrassment at that comment, giving herself a literal facepalm, and looks up to see Tobin come into view with a small, sad smile on her face.</p>
<p>“Chris, hey…. I, uh. I didn’t expect to see you here again.”</p>
<p>Once again, Christen feels terrible about the way the day has played out. She hasn’t known Tobin very long, but she knows the overall aura around her is off. And she knows it’s her fault.</p>
<p>And right now, she wants nothing more than to fix it.</p>
<p>“Hi, Tobin…. I, uh, well I came here to see you because… I, um… I owe you an apology.” Christen states, deciding to be brave and look at Tobin straight on while discussing this with her. “I very much overreacted, and I am truly sorry for that.”</p>
<p>“No, you were right, I should have at least asked you or told you. I should have done something to make you more comfortable. Showing up unannounced at your place was not cool. I’m sorry... I guess I just wanted to surprise you.” Tobin states, still with a slightly less sad look on her face. Christen thinks she’d do anything to not have to see that pout again. She’s feeling powerless to it.</p>
<p>“Please, don’t be sorry. Thank you, very much for your kindness. And, if the offer still stands, I’d like to accept the bike. If that’s ok?” Christen says, with a small smile, eyes glancing at the bike leaning against the side of the store.</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course. It’s yours for as long as you want it.” Tobin says, much happier now, clapping her hands together as she walks back over to the bike and rolls it over to Christen.</p>
<p>“Thank you, seriously. And I’m sorry again for how I reacted. I guess I’m just not used to people wanting to help me.” Christen says, as she grabs the bike from Tobin and looks back up at the brown eyes staring back at her. “Please tell me what I can do to pay for it, I know you put so much work into it.”</p>
<p>Tobin scoffs at this, almost like she’s actually offended by it. “Absolutely not, no way. I wanted to do this for you.”</p>
<p>But Christen is not so easy to let it go. “Please, let me give you something.”</p>
<p>“Chris, it’s a gift. You don’t need to give me anything for it.”</p>
<p>“Ok but letting me give you something would make me feel like I contributed to this.”</p>
<p>“You don’t contribute to gifts.”</p>
<p>
  <strong>“I have an idea!” </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin and Christen hear the little voice and both turn around, not having expected anyone to be listening to their conversation. Christen notices that they’ve drawn closer and closer to each other in their mock argument about the bike, both also sporting teasing grins. Christen backs away slightly, almost tripping over the bike in discussion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>‘Girl, get a grip.’ She tells herself.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For payment, you have to come with us to the beach tomorrow! How about that, Toby? It’s like you said to Aunt Kelley! Sometimes, payback doesn’t mean money, it means you do whatever we want!” the girl says, literally jumping up and down.</p>
<p>Tobin looks over to Christen with a shy and embarrassed expression, almost like she didn’t want to tell the girl that wasn’t an option but didn’t know how. She also could be embarrassed by what the girl said, though Christen finds that to be quite hilarious.  </p>
<p>“Bud, that’s true, we did tell Aunt Kelley that, but Chris doesn’t need to pay us back for the bike though, it was a gift to her. A present.”</p>
<p>“Like a birthday present?!” the little girl says, turning to look at Christen, “Is it your birthday?!?”</p>
<p>Tobin just drops her head into her hands, clearly running out of ways to explain the situation to the little girl in front of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Luckily for Tobin, she has an easy out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, man I totally would, I love the beach, but I have to work tomorrow.” Christen responds, bending down with her hands on her knees to get on the little girl’s level, with a visible pout for added effect.</p>
<p>“That’s ok, you can come next week. We go every Sunday! Right Toby?” The little girl is jumping up and down again, next to Tobin, speaking as excitedly as she can, “Toby always says ‘Sundays are for the beach!’” She finishes in the deepest voice she can manage to try and imitate Tobin.</p>
<p>Once again, Tobin is completely caught off guard by the turn the conversation has taken and is not sure what to say or how to respond. This little girl seems to constantly be outsmarting them.</p>
<p>Christen stops and thinks for a moment; she does a lot of thinking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Overthinking mostly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But in this moment, something about this girl and her offer (and maybe the other person standing here) makes her decide to stop thinking, and for the first time in a long time, just do what she wants. “Ya know what, next Sunday at the beach sounds perfect.” Christen says, still bent down in front of the girl. It’s when she’s this close that she notices some of the similarities between the girl and Tobin. Brown hair, brown eyes, same chin and similar jaw. She can’t imagine this is Tobin’s daughter, but to be fair, she doesn’t think she knows enough about Tobin to even know that.</p>
<p>“YES! Did you hear that Toby? She said she’d come to the beach next Sunday with us!” The little girl jumps up and runs around.</p>
<p>Christen stands back up and looks at Tobin, hoping she hasn’t crossed any boundaries herself. She just got upset at Tobin for crossing her own lines, and here she is probably crossing Tobin’s. She’s about to say something when she finally takes notice of the grin Tobin is now sporting.</p>
<p>“You really don’t have to if you don’t want to. I don’t want Kendall to pressure you into something you don’t want to do. She’s… a lot sometimes.” Tobin says, laughing as she pulls the kid into her side. “But… I’m really glad you’re coming if you do… want to come, that is.” She says, smiling back at the kid.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I um, I want to. I’ll talk to Ali and make it work. I get Sundays off sometimes anyway. Seems like a fun way to spend the day.” Christen says, reaching for the bike, ready to make her exit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pushing boundaries is kind of exhausting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, uh. It’s the best. Sundays are for the beach!” Tobin says dramatically, mocking the way the little girl said it. The little girl in question… ‘Kendall’ just giggles at Tobin.</p>
<p>At this, Christen can’t help but laugh. A real, genuine laugh. She begins to back away with the bike, edging toward the road to home.</p>
<p>“Okaaaay. I’ll let you get back to work. I’ll stop by this week and we can figure out any details, yeah?” Christen asks, climbing onto her new bike.</p>
<p>“Yeah, um. Sounds perfect.” Tobin states, smiling widely at Christen.</p>
<p>“Bye Tobin.”</p>
<p>“Hey wait, Chris?”  Tobin stops her, as if a thought had come to her mind suddenly.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Where are you headed? In like…. The least invasive way possible.” Tobin asks, grinning.</p>
<p>“Ahh, home? I just got off work, so probably to grab some dinner and uh, yeah that’s about it.” Christen says. Curiosity has the best of her and she’s dying to know why Tobin wants to know what she’s doing.</p>
<p>Tobin holds up a finger as if to say, ‘one minute’ or ‘hold on’ before leaning down to Kendall, “Hey bud, go tell Aunt Kelley it’s almost time to go.”</p>
<p>“OKAY!” she replies, darting off into the store.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Man, Christen wishes she had that energy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, so before you say anything, hear me out.” Tobin starts, her hands going into her pockets as she walks closer to Christen, “I feel terrible about the whole bike situation, you were absolutely right, at the least I should have given it to you in daylight.” At this, Tobin and Christen give a light laugh. “And I am beyond thankful that you not only accepted it but are willing to appease Kendall’s form of ‘payment’ for your gift.”</p>
<p>“I told you, I overreacted. Really, it’s ok.” Christen says. She’s not sure where this is coming from or where it’s going, but she feels that Tobin’s not done. “Also, I do love the beach.”</p>
<p>“Me too, it really is the best.” She says, nodding her head side to side, sarcastically making fun of herself and Kendall. “But can I do one thing to make it up to you? One very small, very unimportant thing that will make me feel better?” Tobin asks, and the puppy-looking pout comes back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dammit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok… what small, very unimportant thing?”</p>
<p>“Let me buy you dinner.” Tobin states, pout turning into a smile. “Just dinner, no strings attached. We are just headed over to Rick’s Burgers, it’s like a 5-minute walk. Best burgers in Barview. Kelley is coming with us, because I can’t for the life of me ever get food without Kelley coming with me.” She finishes, shaking her head and laughing at her own inside joke. “Just a small, ‘I’m sorry for bringing a bike to your house super late at night’ apology burger.”</p>
<p>To say Christen is conflicted would be an understatement. On the one hand, this is not solitude.</p>
<p>On the other, she hasn’t had a burger and fries in forever.</p>
<p>And her hunger is definitely winning this battle right now.</p>
<p>Also winning is the pleading look on Tobin’s face as she hold her hands clasped together out in front of her, practically begging.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Screw it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Tobin asks, almost unbelieving.</p>
<p>“Yeah, okay. I could definitely eat a burger right now.” Christen laughs out, a smile now permanently stuck on her face. And she thinks it’s because of the woman in front of her.</p>
<p>“Awesome.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“ALLRIGHT IDIOTS, LETS GO EAT---- oh, Hi… Chris, right?” The woman Chris first met at the store, Kelley, comes to a halt and smiles, after practically screeching out the door.</p>
<p>“Ah, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Kelley this is Chris, Chris, this is my idiot friend, Kelley.” Tobin says, gesturing back and forth, with an embarrassed look on her face.  </p>
<p>Kelley gasps, gawking at Tobin, and at first Christen thinks she’s offended, until-</p>
<p>“Your idiot <em>‘best’</em> friend. Get it right.”</p>
<p>“Allie is my best friend.”</p>
<p>“But she’s not your <em>idiot</em> best friend.”</p>
<p>Tobin just rolls her eyes, “How I ended up with two children in my care, I’ll never know.”</p>
<p>“Anyway, let’s blow this joint. Rick’s here we come!” Kelley says, grabbing Kendall’s hand as she walks out the door to meet up with the adults, and heading off in the direction of the restaurant.</p>
<p>Tobin looks over at Christen smiling, “In case you’re wondering, it’s too late to back out now.”</p>
<p>Christen just laughs, “No way, I’ve got burgers on my mind. And more importantly, fries.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, you like fries?” Tobin asks as she takes Christen’s bike and locks it into the bike rack, in front of the store.</p>
<p>“They may be my favorite food… like ever.” Christen says, as they begin to walk behind Kelley and Kendall.</p>
<p>“Good to know.” Tobin says, smiling over to her.</p>
<p>“So, Ken, we gettin’ milkshakes or what?” They hear Kelley ask.</p>
<p>“Absolutely not, neither of you need sugar.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As she rides along back to her home, Christen’s belly is full for the first time in a while, and she’s still shocked by how her evening had gone and what she agreed to do next week. But also excited. Excited to have the opportunity to just, do something. Anything. Her motto and life plan of solitude might need some work though, she thinks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Solitude… not really possible. Even in Oregon.</p>
<p>She thinks maybe she can just blame it on Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dinner was an absolute riot; Christen thinks she probably hasn’t laughed that much fun in a very long time. The combination of Kelley and Kendall against Tobin was constant all night, with ‘the two children’ as Tobin referred to them, often winning. Christen sat next to Tobin throughout the night, as conversation flowed between all of them.</p>
<p>At one point, Kelley had gotten up to get the table milkshakes, taking the already hyper little girl with her. Because ‘<em>if I paid for dinner and I have to deal with the hyper 5-year-old tonight, the least you can do is pay for dessert.’ </em></p>
<p>The line was long, giving Tobin and Christen a chance to connect, just the two of them. They kept the conversation casual, not wanting to discuss anything too deep with the other two coming back any moment. However, after that one-on-one time, both of them felt something shift in their relationship.</p>
<p>No longer were they stumbling or awkward in their discussions. No more were they nervous over how the other would respond to something. They just talked as if they had known the other person for a long time.</p>
<p>Because that’s how it felt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had left them at the store, again promising she’d be back later in the week to discuss their following Sunday plans. She’s not sure who seemed more excited, Kendall or Tobin.</p>
<p>Though for Kendall, it was probably the sugar.</p>
<p>She tries hard to not overthink the situation she’s gotten herself into as she pulls up to her house. She looks over and sees Katie sitting on her porch, relaxing in the evening breeze.</p>
<p>“Nice wheels ya got there.” Katie smiles as Christen puts the bike on her own porch and walks back down over toward where Katie is. They haven’t had a chance to sit down and connect for a while, mostly just short conversations in passing.</p>
<p>“Yeah, uh Tobin Heath gave it to me. You um, you know her?” Christen asks. They’ve never really talked about other locals, always talking about their homes, repairs, or Christen’s work.</p>
<p>“Oh yes, everyone in town knows Tobin Heath. And everyone in town loves Tobin Heath.” Katie replies with a knowing smirk.</p>
<p>Christen wonders how Katie can have that smirk, or if that smirk can mean what Christen thinks it means. She’s not even sure she wants to know what she means by it. She certainly knows that Katie means <em>something</em> by it, “Yeah, she fixed it for me, so I don’t have to walk everywhere. So, uh, that’s nice.”</p>
<p>“Ah, Tobin Heath, ever the savior of a woman in need.” Katie says with a laugh.</p>
<p>Christen just smiles, laughing along with her, not knowing how to respond to that.</p>
<p>“See ya Katie.” She says, heading back over to her own home.</p>
<p>“Have a good night, Chris.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just an fyi-</p>
<p>Thank you all for the comments and kudos. I do read them and I appreciate them greatly.<br/>I'm not good at responding to praise, so I probably won't reply to them.</p>
<p>But thanks!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sometimes You Gotta Bleed to Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>He types away angrily on his desktop, having not the patience, nor the actual time that this was taking. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’d looked through tons of sites, combing through social media posts, posting his own missing person alert. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nothing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knows she’s out there. But LA is massive. She could be anywhere in the city. Or not even in the city. Or not even in the state. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>That thought alone sends him spiraling again.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He contacted all the family she had left, discreetly inquiring as to if they had heard from her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nothing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He takes another sip of his drink. Water, anyone watching would assume. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He just needed it to take the edge off. </em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>
She was gone. Missing. Left him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he was determined to find out where the hell she went.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And bring her back.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>When Chris said she’d see Tobin sometime this week, Tobin didn’t imagine it would be three days later. But into the store she walks, looking gorgeous as Tobin had ever seen. Her hair was down, naturally curly, but tamed a bit. She was wearing black shorts and an olive-green sleeveless shirt. It was simple, but Tobin felt she had never seen anyone as beautiful. If only she could figure out how to tell the woman as much.</p><p>“Hey Chris, fancy seeing you here this morning.” Tobin calls over to her as she walks into the store, looking around. Tobin assumes she’s looking for her, she hopes at least.</p><p>“Well, this is your store, so I wouldn’t necessarily say its surprising.” Chris teases, walking over to Tobin who’s in the bait section scanning labels.</p><p>“It is, that’s true.” Tobin laughed in response, setting the labels down and standing up to meet Chris as she walks over. “Hi, how are you?”</p><p>“I’m good, thanks for asking. How are you?”</p><p>“Better now that you’re here.” Tobin responds with a smirk, hoping that the subtle flirt was subtle enough to not scare the woman off.</p><p>Chris just smiled, a small blush creeping up her face. “So, Sunday. Tell me, what’s the plan?”</p><p>“Yes! Sunday!” Tobin looks around and sees a few others shopping and Kelley up at the front of the store, eyeing her while she rings someone up.</p><p> </p><p>That’s a problem.</p><p> </p><p>“Want to go for a short walk outside with me? I need to make a run to the bank anyway.” Tobin asks, hoping to get the green-eyed woman out from under Kelley’s nosey eyes and ears. She did NOT want to deal with the fallout of one Kelley O’Hara finding out about them spending time together. She already knew she was in for it, simply for talking to the woman.</p><p>“Yeah, sure. Sounds great.” Chris responds, following Tobin to the front to grab what she needed for the bank and out the door. If she notices Kelley grinning like the Cheshire cat, she thankfully doesn’t comment.</p><p>They step out into the sunny July day and head off into the direction of the only bank in town, further down Main Street.</p><p>“So, we normally leave here around 9am, head to the State Park since we have the yearly pass. It’s way less crowded than the public beaches. And uh, we just… hard chill. I’ve been trying to get Kendall to learn how to surf but uh, typically she’s done after about 20-30 minutes.” Tobin just laughs, mostly to herself. “She’s much more into sandcastles at the moment. And mermaids… Um, we’ll bring a picnic lunch, normally just sandwiches, chips, that kind of stuff. I’ll take care of it. But, uh… yeah. It’s the best. Sundays are the best.” She’s not sure why, but Tobin feels like she just shared a piece of herself with Chris; and it feels pretty good.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok so, two questions then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shoot.”</p><p>“What’s a hard chill?” Chris asks, smiling at Tobin with a perplexed look on her face. As if Tobin had just told her the entire plan in a foreign language.</p><p>“Hard chill. It’s uh, well it’s a Tobin Heath specialty. It’s just… chilling. Very… hard.” Tobin knows she sounds like an idiot, but she’s never been good at explaining her ‘hard chill’ to anyone. The only person who truly understands is Allie. And Tobin isn’t sure how Allie gets it, she just does.</p><p>“Ok, I’m going to pretend that made sense and take your word for it.” As Christen laughs at her, Tobin can’t help but see the sparkle in her green eyes. “Question Two then, and I’m not exactly sure how to ask this so I’m just going to ask – who exactly is Kendall to you? Is she your daughter?”</p><p> </p><p>With that question, Tobin takes a mental step back. It had been a long time since someone hadn’t known who Kendall was. The town was small enough that every local knew, and the visitors never stayed long enough to ask that kind of question. Though the scars are far from new or raw, they still burn from time to time. It wasn’t that she couldn’t answer the question. It wasn’t even that she didn’t want to. She just really had never had to answer it in this way before, because no one had ever asked.</p><p>“Ahhh, no. Kendall isn’t my daughter. She’s… um… she’s my niece.” Tobin finally answers Chris’ question. They had both stopped their walk, Tobin looking around and taking the opportunity to sit on a nearby bench. If she’s going to tell this story, she’d rather be sitting down.</p><p>“Oh, I had no idea you had a sister. She’s here in town?” Chris asks innocently, really not knowing any of the story that everyone in town was around to witness. She follows over and sits on the bench next to Tobin.</p><p>“Ah, no. She’s uh. She… she umm passed away. About three years ago.” Tobin answers, lifting her head to make eye contact with Chris.</p><p>Tobin decides in that moment, if Chris can try open up and accept a gift from her and try to be her friend, she can open up and explain Kendall’s past to Chris. So, before Chris can respond, she continues. “It was a car accident; she and her husband were driving in from a trip to Portland and were hit by a drunk driver. The paramedics said they died on impact. Kendall was staying with me; she was only two at the time. And it’s been me and her ever since.” Tobin finishes the story of Kendall’s complicated past, and notices that for the first time telling that story, she doesn’t feel the darkness creeping up on her. She feels… ok. It still hurts, but definitely not the searing pain she’s accustomed to. She knows part of it is time, “it heals all wounds.” But she wonders if the calmness she feels when around the woman next to her is assisting as well.</p><p> </p><p>“Tobin… I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s uhm. It’s ok. The therapist I see a couple times a month; he actually recommends that I talk about it, and I haven’t been able to lately. So, I’m glad to share it with you.” <em>I want to share everything with you</em>, Tobin thinks but doesn’t say. She has yet to figure out why, but she knows there is something drawing her in to the woman next to her. “Kendall was actually visiting my other sister for a month when you first came to town, so that’s why you didn’t meet her until recently.</p><p>“Well, she seems like an amazing little girl. And you are a pretty incredible person for taking care of her.” Chris smiles at her, a little bit of a sad smile. “So, it’s just the two of you here? No other family in town?” Chris asks, as she stands up and reaches her hand to Tobin to get her moving again.</p><p>“Nope, just us. Well, we have our chosen family, but no other biological family. My mom moved back east years ago after my dad passed. I have two other siblings scattered across the U.S., but Kendall and I always felt like Barview was home. Like I said, we have chosen family here. Allie and Bati, Alex and Servando, Megan and Sue, Ashlyn and Ali, Kelley, Sonnett, Lindsey. Our family here is… amazing. More than I could ask for. They support me and help with Kendall. Summers are hard with no school, but she just comes to the store with me if we’re out of options. She’s with Alex today, actually.” Tobin says, as they walk. She took a risk and didn’t let go of Chris’ hand after she stood, opting to grab it and hold onto it as they walk. The gentle squeeze Chris gives her after she finishes talking about her friends tells her the risk was worth the reward.</p><p>“They seem like pretty amazing people. Obviously, I’ve met some of them from work, but I’m glad you have a support system like that.” Chris says, looking over at Tobin as they walk hand in hand down the street.</p><p>“They are amazing.” Tobin says trailing off, an idea coming to mind, “Wait, are you off work today or do you have go in tonight?”</p><p>“I’m off tonight, then I work until Sunday, which I’m off, of course, to spend the day at the beach with you and Kendall.” Chris says, smiling like it’s a pretty exciting activity. Which Tobin thinks it is, a pretty exciting activity.</p><p>“Welllll then, how do you feel about spending just a little more of your time off with me? And of course, my whole crew.” Tobin asks, holding up her free hand making a pinching sign.</p><p>“Oh gosh, I don’t know. All of my free time with Tobin Heath? Seems questionable.” Chris responds laughing carelessly as their hands sway back and forth between them.</p><p>“Come on, just say yes. It’s just dinner. You can meet literally everyone.” Tobin pleads, and out comes the pout Chris was afraid of.</p><p>Chris stares her down, warning signals in the back of her head going off like an alarm. This is so very far from solitude.</p><p>“Ugh, fiiiiine. Just stop pouting please. When and where?” Chris responds, as Tobin pumps her fist in the air in victory.</p><p>“Be ready at 7pm. I’ll pick you up and we’ll head over to Alex’s.” Tobin responds, noticing they’ve been standing outside the bank for a while now. She knows their afternoon bubble has come to an end. “So, I’ll see you at 7?”</p><p>“Yeah… see you then.” Chris responds with final squeeze of her hand and walks away, back toward the direction of her the store where her bike is.</p><p>Tobin just stands there, honestly wondering for the first time if she actually has a chance with the mysterious woman. She figures tonight will definitely be a good start to finding out.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, you’ve been gone for forever. What the hell, man?” Kelley whines as Tobin comes back into the store.</p><p>“It was like, an hour, tops. Stop being so dramatic all the time.” Tobin responds, rolling her eyes as she opens the filing cabinet in the back office to put away the receipts from the bank.</p><p>“Well, did you at least make it to 2<sup>nd</sup> base on your little trip to ‘the bank’?” Kelley grins as she uses air quotation marks, clearly being sarcastic and intentionally obnoxious in her question.</p><p>“Dude, shut up. You know it’s not like that.” Tobin says annoyed as she pushes Kelley’s feet off the desk where they’re propped up.</p><p>Kelley just throws her head back laughing, “I know, but it’s fun to get a rise out of you anyway. So, what exactly DID you two talk about for that long?”</p><p>It’s a fair question. The walk to the bank is like, 10 minutes maybe? But she tries to keep her voice neutral in her response, “Nothing, just random stuff. She’s coming to dinner at Alex’s tonight.” Tobin answers, looking away at the camera they have in the office to be sure the store is still empty like it was when she came in. Presumably the reason Kelley is currently sitting on her ass instead of actually working.</p><p>“Wait, for real? Ali has invited her at least once, and she hasn’t said yes before.” Kelley looks genuinely surprised. Much like Monday dinners at Shorty’s, full crew Tuesday Family Dinners every other week are a time-honored tradition. They rotate homes and who’s cooking, but they make sure it happens twice a month.</p><p>“Yeah, I asked, and she said yes. So, I’m going to go pick her up and bring her over.” Tobin says, noticing her out in the conversation, as a Greyhound bus pulls up and travelers begin to pour out. Before Kelley can continue the conversation, which Tobin is positive she wants to, Tobin is pulling her up while she’s grumbling, out of the seat and into the store.</p><p> </p><p>Making Kelley O’Hara work is really a full-time job.</p><p> </p><p>__</p><p> </p><p>It’s 6:50 pm when Christen walks out the front door to her porch, patiently awaiting Tobin coming to pick her up for the evening. She had stressed for a solid 10 minutes over what to wear, ultimately realizing her options (though they had grown) were still limited. Mostly shorts, a few nice tops, and Shorty’s t-shirts. She had some jeans and had recently gotten her first coat in preparation for the coming fall. She decided the black shorts and green sleeveless shirt she had on was sufficient for the outing, so she freshened up her curls before heading to wait on her porch.</p><p>She noticed Katie walking back up the driveway to her own home, casually waving at her and calling over to her. “Someone’s looking cute tonight! Got a hot date?”</p><p>Christen smiled fondly at her first friend in town, shaking her head before looking down at her hands when responding. “Obviously, you know me. Party animal, getting all the dates.” Christen laughed at her own response before clearing her throat and looking back over at her neighbor, “No, just headed over with Tobin to her friend’s house for dinner.”</p><p>“Ahhh, gotta be the Tuesday Family Dinner tradition. Good to know that’s still going strong.” Katie smiles at Christen, “Don’t go too crazy with that crew. But definitely have a good time. They’re an amazing group of people.” And with that, Katie waved goodbye and walked into her home.</p><p>Christen thought for a moment if she should consider it odd that Katie knew all about this group but didn’t spend any time with them. She knew their traditions, but Tobin had never mentioned knowing a Katie before. She makes a mental note to bring it up with Katie the next morning they sit out on their porches to have coffee together. Something the duo unintentionally does once or twice a week.</p><p>It’s while she’s thinking of this that she hears an engine making its way down the driveway. She looks up to see a black lifted Jeep pulling up to her house, Tobin smiling in the driver’s seat. Before she can make it to the passenger side, Tobin has hopped out and walked around to open the door for her. She quickly takes in Tobin’s black, ripped skinny jeans, white t-shirt, Jordan’s and backwards flat bill. This makes her feel confident that her attire is appropriate for the evening.</p><p>“Hey you, thanks.” Christen says, smiling at Tobin as she climbs into the Jeep. Tobin smiles as she closes the door behind her and jogs around to climb up, into her seat.</p><p>“You ready for this?” Tobin asks, smiling at Christen as she begins to back out of the long winding driveway.</p><p>“Let’s do it.”</p><p> </p><p>__</p><p> </p><p>If you had told Christen a few months ago that she would find a group of people that love and accept her for herself, she’d have laughed at you. Full on, outright laughed. There was no way, because Christen still isn’t even sure who she is herself. But these people, this crew, this family. They open their arms and welcome Christen like she was a missing piece all along.</p><p>She briefly wonders if someone can accept you when they don’t know the real you. The battle scars, the wounds, the flat lies. Christen has hid so much from so many people, and the life she’s currently living is the biggest lie of all.</p><p>But she’s also never felt more like Christen. Not in a long time.</p><p>It’s these thoughts that an arm around her waist pulls her out of. She smiles softly, looking over at the brown eyes she knows await her when she turns her head.</p><p>“Hey” Tobin says, smiling at her “Just checking in. I know they can be a lot, I don’t want them to overwhelm you.” Tobin gestures to the mass of people around, her absolute genuine spirit shines through in the way she’s looking at Christen.</p><p>The evening had been amazing so far, Christen finally getting to meet Charlie, Alex’s daughter, along with a few others she hadn’t met at the restaurant yet. Kendall was having a blast being the center of attention with Charlie and Ashlyn and Ali’s daughter, Sloane, so it helped to take the pressure off of Christen, since she was the new face.</p><p>“They’re amazing Tobin. It’s been a really good night. Thank you, again for the invite. I’m glad I came.”</p><p>“I’m glad you came too.” Tobin responds, smiling and turning as Kendall yells across the backyard for her. “Whoop, better check on her. She gets a little crazy when we have a fire in the pit.” And with that, Tobin walks away, leaving Christen to her thoughts, but not for long.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what do you think of your first Tuesday Family Dinner?” Ali asks as she walks up to the railing Christen has been leaning on. “Think you’d hang out with us again?”</p><p>“I don’t know, did I pass the test? Will I get another invite?” Christen teases back at Ali. The two had become good friends, Ali being the manager at Shorty’s that Christen works directly with for almost all of her shifts. Knowing Ali would be here had put her at ease even more coming into the night. Ali just laughs as she intentionally bumps her shoulder into Christen. She looks up to see Tobin dancing around the firepit with Kendall, Kelley and Sonnett dancing with them.</p><p>Christen just smiles and laughs as she looks on.</p><p>“You’ll definitely keep getting invites if a certain someone has anything to say about it.” Ali teases, looking at the dancing group before looking back at Christen.</p><p>She should have known this teasing was coming, but it didn’t prepare her with an answer.</p><p>“Oh, I… um… ha, we’re uh, just… uh”</p><p>Thankfully, Ali puts her out of her misery. “I’m kidding. Don’t stress.” Christen just laughs lightly, trying to come back from the place her mind went at the implications of Ali’s offhand comment.</p><p>Sure, her mind went there often. Pretty much whenever she’s with Tobin, her mind goes there.But that’s not the plan. Solitude. Alone. Safe. That’s the plan. And that does not include anything other than a light friendship with anyone. Especially the attractive store owner.</p><p> </p><p>Dammit.</p><p> </p><p>“For the record, Tobin is an amazing person. So, should you decide to let her in, just know, you can trust her.” Ali says, squeezing Christen’s arm. “Oh, hey, I’ve been wanting you to meet my wife and kid, follow me.”</p><p>They make the short walk from the patio, out to where the firepit is set up. Christen sees Megan holding a baby, presumably Sloane, while the woman she knows to be Ashlyn is adding twigs to the fire.</p><p>“Babe, come here when you’re done with that, I want you to meet Chris.” Ali says, taking a sleeping baby Sloane out of Megan’s hands. The baby is beyond adorable, can’t be more than 2 months old, and definitely already has everyone present wrapped around her fingers.</p><p>Which, so does Charlie and she’s just over a year old.</p><p> </p><p>Actually, so does Kendall and she’s five.</p><p> </p><p>Ali interrupts her thoughts about the crew’s kids, “Chris, this is Ashlyn, Ashlyn, this is Chris. She works at Megan’s. I’ve asked her to come before but apparently it took Tobin inviting her to get her to say yes.” Ali laughs, gesturing between the two.</p><p>Ashlyn smiles, reaching over to offer her hand to Christen to shake, “It’s a pleasure to finally put a face with the name. I’ve heard only great things about you. Which is truly saying something considering this one’s work gossip.” She says poking Ali.</p><p>Christen can only laugh, knowing the work gossip mill is always going. Ali slaps Ashlyn in the chest in mock offense “Ok, that’s just rude.”</p><p>“I kind of figured it’s like that no matter what job you have.” Christen states, smiling and thinking of the junior intern at her marketing firm in LA, who was once caught with his zipper down, coming out of his boss’s office. The gossip fallout from that situation was… well it was a lot.</p><p>“Eh, police stations have some. But definitely not as much as you guys, that’s for sure.” Ashlyn states, taking another jab at her wife who seemingly does not look impressed.</p><p>“Oh… ah, you’re a police officer?” Christen asks.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>In that moment, she’s terrified.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Terrified of what this woman knows. What she could find out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What if she does find out?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She now feels she’s in massive trouble having come here tonight.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, deputy sheriff/homicide detective. It’s nice in a town like Barview. I was in Portland for a while, but the violence was just too much. Being in a small town is definitely more my style. I came out here when a position opened up, met this woman, and never looked back.” Ashlyn says, wrapping her arms around Ali.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She doesn’t seem to know anything about me, Chris thinks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How could she?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe she’s truly far enough away from it all to be safe out here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe the Barview police don’t even get LA police banners and bulletins.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What if she ends up on America's Most Wanted?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“She becomes such a smooth talker when she’s in trouble.” Ali says, smiling wryly at Christen, looking at her like she’s waiting for her to speak.</p><p>Which, she probably is since Ashlyn was talking to her.</p><p>“Ah, that’s, um, really cool. Sounds like it all worked out for you.” Christen says, cringing at how forced she knows it had to sound. She’s looking around, desperate for an escape from the tattooed woman in front of her that she feels like is staring through her soul.</p><p>Just then, her eyes catch Tobin’s, who’s back on the patio now, and she decides that’s her perfect out.</p><p>“Well, I’m gonna go catch up with up with Tobin, since she invited me here tonight. I feel like I’ve been a terrible guest to her since I’ve only spent around 10 minutes with her.” She jokes, forcing a smile as she backs away from the two, “In case I don’t see you again, thank you so much for letting me come. It’s been an awesome time. And it was nice to meet you, Ashlyn.”</p><p>Ali laughs at her assessment of her time at the dinner “Yeah I suppose you should get back to her. She’s been staring at us for the last 5 minutes.”</p><p>At that, Christen’s head turns to see that, indeed, Tobin is staring over at them. When their eyes lock, Tobin gives a head nod her way, signaling to Christen that she wants her to come join her.</p><p>“Yeah, I think I’m being summoned.” Christen laughs, looking back at Ashlyn and Ali. “I’ll see you guys later. And thanks again.”</p><p>“You are welcome any time, Chris.” Ali smiles, “And hey, remember what I said about Tobin, yeah?” She says, really not expecting an answer, looking down to her sleeping daughter.</p><p>“Ahh, yeah. Thanks.”</p><p>Christen leaves the two by the fire pit, spiraling with some very heavy thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>But as usual, Tobin seems to make those thoughts melt away, as if they never existed.</p><p>"I thought you had ditched me for the night." Tobin says, smiling from ear-to-ear as she comes over to her.</p><p>Christen just laughs at her, knowing she's teasing her, "I would never... you drove me here, how would I get home?" she teases back.</p><p>"Ah, right. All I'm good for is a ride." Tobin sighs, shaking her head back and forth.</p><p>"Well not <em>just</em> a ride. Maybe a burger now and then... and a beach trip." </p><p>At that, Tobin's mouth drops open in shock. "You hung out with Kelley tonight, didn't you."</p><p>"Mayyybe..."</p><p>"Dammit, Kelley. Always turning everyone against me." Tobin says, fighting the smile that's threatening to overtake her face. But she loses the battle when she looks up to see Christen grinning at her. "Alright, enough of that. It's getting late, I don't want to keep you out. Alex has Kendall tonight, so we can leave whenever you're ready."</p><p>Christen mulls this over for a moment,"I do have to work tomorrow morning, so yeah, let's head out."</p><p> </p><p>They say their goodbyes to the various members of the crew still around, Alex having already left with Kendall. They thank their hosts one final time, and head to the Jeep.</p><p> </p><p>"So, thoughts on Tuesday Family Dinner?" Tobin asks, climbing into her seat, after helping Christen into hers. </p><p>"Tuesday Family Dinner... it's pretty great." Christen says truthfully. She hadn't had this much fun in a long time.</p><p>"Great enough to maybe come again?"</p><p>She hears the hopefulness in Tobin's voice, and looks over to see hopeful eyes staring back at her.</p><p>"Yeah... that'd be pretty great."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I Don't Believe The Hype</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Months.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That’s all it had taken.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A couple of months.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Barely, really. And this place inside of her, this locked up part of her heart that she swore off access to anyone else? Yeah… it’s open and flashing a “Welcome, Tobin” sign.</p>
<p>She shouldn’t be surprised, really, she shouldn’t. But she is. Surprised, and annoyed. Annoyed at herself for opening up when she promised she wouldn’t. Annoyed with Tobin for being so damn charming. Annoyed again with herself for slowly convincing herself that maybe, she didn’t have to do this alone. Maybe she could let someone in. Maybe, she could let Tobin in. Well… not really maybe anymore. She kind of already has let her in.</p>
<p>The beach day was both the final straw and the catapult all at once. As if she could possibly be falling harder for the woman, seeing her with her niece, in her element, loving Kendall, caring for Christen? That was it. Christen was done for.</p>
<p>They’d had an amazing day, starting out watching Tobin try to work with Kendall on her surfing. After 25 minutes, Kendall was over it, just like Tobin predicted. Kendall spent the rest of their time building sandcastles and playing in the shallow surf.</p>
<p>It took the first two hours of them being there for Tobin to convince Christen to even get in the water with her, but once she finally did, the two didn’t separate for the rest of the day. Always in contact, always in sync. They played together with Kendall, ate lunch in the sand on the towels. Pulled the surf boards back out to just lounge in the calmer water.</p>
<p>It was thrilling, to find this missing piece Christen didn’t even know was missing. But more than that, it was terrifying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because Tobin had no idea. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Christen doesn’t know how to tell her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thought plagues her mind often, casually hanging out whenever she has a down moment like:</p>
<p>
  <em>How do you casually tell someone that you drugged your abusive fiancé, fled town, slightly altered your name, and disappeared off of everyone’s radar? </em>
</p>
<p>You can’t just drop that at dinner.</p>
<p>Oh, and the worst part? Christen has no idea if he’s even alive. She could have killed him. She had given him a sleeping pill, but he had drunk a lot before. Christen had no idea what that combination had done to him.</p>
<p>So yeah, Christen has no idea how to have that conversation. And the more time she spends with Tobin, the more pressure she feels to tell her.</p>
<p>But Christen has never done well with pressure. So, she figures, might as well wait it out a little while longer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What’s the worst that can happen?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, thoughts on Sunday hard chill at the beach?” Tobin smiles as she’s loading the cooler that had held their lunches into the back of the Jeep. It was early afternoon, but Kendall was worn out and in large need of a nap. And maybe Christen was thinking a nap sounded pretty good too.</p>
<p>“Oh, 10/10 would recommend. Definitely my new favorite way to spend a Sunday.” Christen responds, looking through the back of the Jeep to see if Kendall was listening. But Kendall had promptly gotten in her booster seat, grabbed her tablet and headphones, and was playing her favorite Lego game.</p>
<p>Christen smiles as she looks back to Tobin, “The company isn’t so bad either.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, think you maybe would want to do this again some time?” Tobin asks confidently, as she lifts the final beach chair into the trunk. She closes the back gate, and leans against the spare tire, effectively blocking Christen’s path to the passenger’s seat.</p>
<p>“Yeah… I think I could be persuaded to come again some time.”</p>
<p>“That’s good. Good to know.” Tobin says, smiling.</p>
<p>Christen just smiles back, waiting to see what else Tobin has to say, the smile on her face being the obvious indicator that she’s not done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Christen’s right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what about maybe doing something else some time?” Tobin asks, suddenly the confidence is gone and is replaced with an uncharacteristic shyness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Something else as in….?”</p>
<p>Christen had a pretty good idea of where this was going. After all, they’d spend a significant amount of time together just this week. She’d stop by the store on her way to work, Tobin would walk to the restaurant during her break. Small conversations that they knew meant a lot.</p>
<p>She smiles slightly, watching Tobin look down and reposition her feet, then look back up with a renewed confidence.</p>
<p>“As in a date. Something else as in, you and me intentionally going out, together, on a date. No 5-year-olds, no jobs calling us back. An actual date.” The firmness in her sentence takes Christen off guard for a moment and before she can respond, Tobin is continuing. “Because in case I’m doing a terrible job showing you, I like you Chris. So much. And I’d really like to spend more time with you. Just the two of us.”</p>
<p>Christen was not surprised by the revelation that Tobin likes her. They had been flirting the line of friendship for a couple of weeks now. But that declaration? Christen was almost speechless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Almost.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I really like you too, Tobin.” Christen manages to get out, smiling in a way she can’t remember smiling before.</p>
<p>“You do? For sure? Ok, great because honestly, if you didn’t, I’m not sure what—”</p>
<p>“But I’m not sure going on a date is a good idea.” Christen cuts Tobin off, her brain catching up to everything that is happening.</p>
<p>You see, knowing you have a massive crush on someone. That’s one thing.</p>
<p>Knowing they also have a crush on you, that’s a thing too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Doing something about it when you’re practically a fugitive? That’s… not a great idea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin is still standing in front of her, surprised likely, but more confused if anything.</p>
<p>She takes a moment before she responds, gathering her thoughts, “Chris… I don’t understand. We had an amazing time today, we see each other all the time, I like you, you like me. Why can’t we go on a date?”</p>
<p>When she says it like that, how can Christen feel anything other than agreement. All of those things are true. However, there’s still a giant piece of Christen that Tobin doesn’t know about. And by giant piece, she means literally the past 5 years her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also small things, like her actual name.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just… it’s not a good idea, Tobin.” Christen knows that’s the worst response she can give, and she feels her resolve fading the moment she sees Tobin’s confidence surge at her weak response.</p>
<p>“Really? Because I think it’s the best idea I’ve had in a long time. And you already know I have amazing ideas; I mean the hammock that folds out behind the counter – you think Kelley came up with that? Hell, no. That was all me. I’m full of good ideas. But this idea? This is easily the best.”</p>
<p>Honestly, Christen is surprised she didn’t cave right there. Her inability to tell Tobin why she’s holding out is definitely making it difficult to continue to hold out.</p>
<p>Then Tobin adds the cherry on top, “I’ll tell you what. If you truly don’t want to go out with me, then tell me right now that you’re not interested. Just flat out, you don’t want to go out with me. Say ‘Tobin, you’re ugly and annoying and I don’t want to go out with you.’”</p>
<p>Christen bursts out laughing at the last part, knowing she could never say any of that. Because she does want to go out with her. She wants to spend all of her time with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dammit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know I can’t say any of that.” Christen responds, looking down. She feels warm arms around her waist, then a finger tilting her head up. And when she makes eye contact with Tobin, her answer can’t be anything other than, “Okay.”</p>
<p>“Okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Okay. Let’s go on a date.” Christen smiles at Tobin, who looks like she won the lottery.</p>
<p>Christen can’t remember the last time someone looked at her like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, except Tobin, 5 minutes ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you. If you really don’t want to—”</p>
<p>“I’m sure.” Christen says, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s waist the complete the hug they’ve half been in for a minute.</p>
<p>Tobin holds on for a few moments, before their bubble is burst—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“TOBY, I’M READY TO GO HOME.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They both burst in laughter at Kendall’s interruption of their moment. To be fair, she had been waiting for a while.</p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s go home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Knowing and experiencing are two different things.</p>
<p>Christen knows a lot of things. She prides herself on being a random well of knowledge. She got good grades, went to a high academic college. She knows things.</p>
<p>She has head knowledge about a lot of things.</p>
<p>Roller coasters cause your brain to emit a high amount of dopamine, causing a thrilling, high-energy experience. Christen knows this from high school science classes. They even took a field trip to a theme park.</p>
<p>But when you ride a roller coaster and experience the dopamine rush, well…</p>
<p><br/>There’s no describing it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because knowing and experiencing are two different things.</p>
<p>She’d gotten an A+ on that chemistry paper.</p>
<p>That’s what going on a date with Tobin Heath was like. Christen knew, somehow knew, it would be amazing. But knowing and experiencing are two different things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And experiencing a date with Tobin Heath? Well, that was indescribable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin picks her up from her house on Friday night, mentioning that they have the entire night to themselves, Kendall having requested to stay at her Aunt Kelley’s house.</p>
<p>“So, I have to be honest here, it’s been a while since I’ve been on a real date.” Tobin says, smiling shyly as she begins to back the car out of Christen’s long, windy-road driveway. “You’re gonna have to take it easy on me, okay?”</p>
<p>Christen scoffs and laughs at the thought, “Trust me, you can’t possibly be more inexperienced dating-wise than me.”</p>
<p>“I can’t see how that can be possible.”</p>
<p>Christen looks over at Tobin, who is casually looking at the back-up camera as she backs out of her driveway, her comment clearly being off hand.</p>
<p>“What do you mean by that?” Christen asks, turning her body slightly toward Tobin to be able to face her more.</p>
<p>At this, Tobin looks up, having successfully turned the Jeep around and onto the main road. She looks over to see Christen watching her, waiting for her answer. “I.. uhm. Well ya know… I mean…….. I mean, have you seen you?”</p>
<p>Christen laughs, loving that after knowing each other for a few months, Tobin still gets tongue-tied with her. It’s…. endearing. “Well, looks aren’t everything, you know?” She doesn’t mean for it to come across as self-depreciating. That’s not her desire or intent. But it does, ever so slightly.</p>
<p>“Chris, you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” Tobin states, coming to a stop at a red light. She looks over at Christen, making sure she has her full attention. “I mean that, genuinely. You have an amazing heart, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met. Kendall loves you. And yeah, you’re drop dead gorgeous, and when you walked out in that dress, I thought my legs were going to give out on me.”</p>
<p>And it’s true, Tobin did have to reach back and grab the hood of her Jeep. Christen thinks she probably hoped she didn’t notice, but she did. The dress itself is casual, borrowed from Ali. Black and cotton, paired with a jean jacket and sandals. Christen still wears her hair curly, having not straightened it in a long time. Not even owning a straightener currently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>He never liked it natural, curly. Always wanted her to straighten it. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Tobin always made comments about her hair, no matter how she had it. But Tobin said she loved it in its natural curls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen definitely did a once over of Tobin, black jeans, ironed, white t-shirt tucked in. No hat, shockingly, her hair mostly dry, falling in waves. They were quite the pair, she thinks.</p>
<p>She’s brought back to the moment when Tobin pulls from the red light toward their destination, Tobin having decided from Christen’s silence to move on from the previous conversation.</p>
<p>“So, tell me how you feel about picnics.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s 3 hours and a wine bottle later, when Christen is thinking she’s ruined from ever dating again.</p>
<p>Which is ridiculous in it of itself, the date wasn’t anything over the top special. Just a picnic dinner on a grassy field, with a high-up beautiful view of the coast and capping waves rolling in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ok, it’s a little special.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the company? The company was incomparable.</p>
<p>And maybe that’s what makes an amazing date. She wouldn’t know before now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Dating was not in his specialty.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re lying on a blanket, under the starry sky, and Christen wonders if she’s ever seen so many stars. LA didn’t have many stars.</p>
<p>They’ve talked about everything tonight, Christen revealing as much about herself as possible without giving up details she’s not ready to tell Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Like how she might have murdered her fiancé on accident. To be fair, it was an accident. Courts don’t care about accidents.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They talk about growing up, family, their siblings. Christen leaves off names, details that are too informing. They talk about college, Tobin having gone to UNC, how they both played college soccer. Christen lies, says she went to a community college. A white lie. Because telling Tobin that she went to Stanford, that they definitely played college soccer against each other, was not a good idea.</p>
<p>They talk about Tobin’s injury in the military, her Humvee being turned over from a roadside bomb, her being thrown from the vehicle. They talk about how Tobin could have continued, but there was some minor concern from her head injury which caused the Navy to discharge her. Tobin says she has migraines about every other week, some much worse than others, but that’s the only lasting effect.</p>
<p>They talk about Kendall. A lot about Kendall, how important she is to Tobin. How Tobin didn’t feel ready for parenthood and was thrust into it. They talk about how Tobin can’t decide if she should adopt Kendall or simply continue to raise her as her Aunt.</p>
<p>They talk about previous relationships. Well, Christen lies and says she hasn’t had a serious relationship since college. Tobin says she hasn’t dated since the accident, not wanting to join her romantic life to interfere with her new role as a guardian of a then 2-year-old. She tells Christen that no one had really made her want to change that. Not until Christen.</p>
<p>Christen never knew what a real date was supposed to feel like. Sure, she had dated in high school, gone to movies, made out a little. College was dominated by sports and academics and <em>him</em>. She figures she missed out on real dating until now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or maybe it’s not even real dating. It’s real connection. It’s real infatuation.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>It’s real love</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>He always told her he loved her. Right before he slapped her. And right after.  So, Christen feels she’s probably not the best at judging what love really is. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But this… connection? This feeling? This… whatever it is she has with Tobin? Christen hopes that it’s the beginning of love.</p>
<p>She also hopes Tobin wakes up tomorrow and forgets that she exists. That would make her own life easier. How do you choose between reality, facing the truth and living in a bubble of your own complete happiness? Christen knows the choice is about to dominate her life.</p>
<p>But for now, she’s content to just… live. Throw caution to the wind. She’s comfortable, she trusts Tobin. And she really never thought she’d trust again.</p>
<p>They’re pulling back up to her house when bravery, confidence, and desire overtake every rational thought she’s had lately.</p>
<p>Tobin is walking her to her door, their fingers entwined like they had been all night when they weren’t being used. They stop outside the door, both not wanting the night to end but not knowing how to state that.</p>
<p>“I uh… I had an amazing night Chris.” Tobin says, eyes staring so far into Christen’s soul that she can feel the emotion.</p>
<p>“Yeah… me too. You’re pretty good at dates, ya know?” Christen smiles.</p>
<p>They stand there for a moment, a calming silence between the two.</p>
<p>Christen isn’t sure who leans in first, she doesn’t know who initiates, she wants to credit herself with the bravery, but she thinks it may have actually been Tobin.</p>
<p>The kiss is soft, filled with emotion. It’s a slow, getting-to-know-you kiss, just like the night had been. Tobin’s hands come up to cup the sides of Christen’s face as she completely takes control of the kiss. It doesn’t last long, yet it lasts an eternity at the same time. Every thought Christen had about solitude and isolation go out the door of her mind because how can she not spend the rest of her days doing THIS. They slowly, hesitantly break apart, foreheads resting against each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wow.”</p>
<p>“That was…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They talk at the same time, both laughing at each other and their own lack of ability to talk after that kiss.</p>
<p>And just like that, they’re going back in, Tobin’s hands back on Christen’s face, Christen’s hands on Tobin’s back. This time, the kiss is an intense eruption of emotion, like a fire that cannot be contained. It’s almost messy in a way, as if they both have something they want to prove to each other. Christen feels in her heart that this was inevitable from the moment she met Tobin. She knew. They both knew. She can’t explain it, can’t describe it. She chalks it up to some cheesy “love at first sight” story from a kid’s book that her mother read to her as a child.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The knowledge that it was always going to happen and the experience of it happening… well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two different things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The latter? She’ll take that all day long.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s with that thought that Christen begins moving backward towards the door, pulling Tobin with her. They break the kiss long enough for Christen to unlock the door, Tobin trailing kisses from her ear down her neck, before she’s pulling her in and resuming the make out session they were having before. They stand in the middle of her one room home, kissing like their lives depend on it.</p>
<p>And maybe for Christen it does.</p>
<p>After an eternity, or perhaps a few minutes, Tobin slows the kiss down, ending it with a few soft pecks before she’s looking up and glancing around the home. She had never been inside. No one had, not even Katie.</p>
<p>Katie. She should ask Tobin about her mysterious neighbor.</p>
<p>Before she can, Tobin is already talking, “Chris, this is amazing. You’ve made this place amazing.” Tobin continues, taking an overall survey of the house. “I’ve been here with Ashlyn when she was working on getting her grandparents set up to rent and it didn’t look half this nice... In fact, wasn’t there a hole in that wall?” Tobin asks, pointing to the far wall above her bed.</p>
<p>“Ha, uh, yeah. That was not easy to fix. Honestly, it took a lot to get the place to here...” She trails off, thinking of all the repairs she had made. “But hey, it made me stop at your store a lot for a while there.” Christen says, looking around before her eyes land back on Tobin.</p>
<p>“Well then in that case, thank you formerly junky house for needing a hella lot of TLC. Who’d have thought, huh? A trashed house.” Tobin smiles, arms wrapped around Christen.</p>
<p>“A trashed house?  What about a trashed house?”</p>
<p>“A trashed house could change my life.” Tobin states, jokingly. But suddenly the joking mood gone, replaced with a very serious air of want.</p>
<p>Lips crash back together, finding solace in the place they now call home. It’s strange really, that it took 5-10 minutes to establish that her lips solely belong to one person.</p>
<p>It’s hot. It’s fast. It’s pushing, pulling. It’s altogether too much and not enough at the same time. Christen is pulling Tobin towards the bed, pulling her shirt over her head. Tobin manages to get the jean jacket off of Christen’s shoulders. Pants and dress follow, shoes gone and forgotten.</p>
<p>Tobin pulls back, looking at Christen, taking it all in. “Are you sure?”</p>
<p>Consent. Christen forgot that exists. Completely.</p>
<p>The one time someone doesn’t really need to ask is when they do. Wild.</p>
<p>“Yes. I’m sure. Are you?”</p>
<p>“Chris, I’ve never been sure of anything in my life like I’m sure of you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. She's The Tear In My Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Success.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He feels nothing but success.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>The video tapes from the bus stop finally show her, ugly curly hair pulled up in a bun. He hated her hair in its natural curly state. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Glasses on, trying to hide her face. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>But he recognizes that backpack, that hoodie, those EYES when they briefly glance at the camera.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rookie mistake, he thinks. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He found her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Now he just has to FIND her. He knows she got on a bus that made multiple stops along the PNW coast, all the way to Canada. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>The question is <strong>where</strong> she went. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>All he has to do is answer that question, then he can go get her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>And bring her home. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>___</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Owe.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why are you saying ‘owe’?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The sun, it’s too bright. It hurts my eyes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tobin, that’s the lamp.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin groans, as she sits up in bed confused, the comforter falling to her waist, to see that it was indeed still dark out. 4-5am she’d guess, if she had to. She’d check her phone, but it’s in her pant pocket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she has no idea where her pants are.</p>
<p>The lamp being turned on must have been Chris, who’s gotten out of bed and gone to the curtained-off bathroom. She emerges a few moments later, after Tobin hears the toilet flush and the sink run. Chris is walking over to the kitchen area, getting a water bottle, naked as the day she was born; Tobin thinks she must be dreaming.</p>
<p>This can’t be real life for her. It can’t. This amazing, beautiful woman standing in front of her, naked because they spent hours rolling around together, making love to each other.</p>
<p>Tobin had slept with women before, though it had admittingly been a while. 5-year-olds don’t make the best wingmen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But she had never experienced it like <em>that</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She watches as Chris walks back over to the bed, crawling over her to the other side that’s pushed against the wall; Tobin falls back onto her back from where she had been propped up on an elbow, watching her.</p>
<p>“Hi.”</p>
<p>“Hi” Tobin smiles, lifting herself up onto her other elbow to stare back down at Chris again.</p>
<p>“You’re beautiful.” She states matter-of-factly.</p>
<p>Chris just blushes, a grin coming to her face, “You already have me, you don’t have to be so smooth, ya know?”</p>
<p>“Umm, false. I intend to be smooth for the rest of my life.” Tobin says, smirking at her own joke.</p>
<p>Tobin was… rarely smooth. Quite the opposite, actually, often stumbling over words as her mouth speaks faster than her brain processes.</p>
<p>“Ok, Casanova, whatever you say.” Chris says, smiling, and closing her eyes, intent on getting back to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Tobin isn’t *quite* done with the conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, what do we think of dates, we a fan of them now?” she asks, smirking.</p>
<p>Chris bursts in laughter, remembering her hesitancy to go on this date, just less than a week ago. Now here they are. “Yeah, we’re a fan of them, I guess.” She says, sighing in what Tobin can only describe as a contented way. “But only if they’re with you.”</p>
<p>“Well good, because you going on dates with anyone else is so not a part of the plan here.” Tobin responds, her confidence at its peak after a perfect night with her perfect woman. She lays back down off of her elbow, wrapping her arm around the torso of the green-eyed woman.</p>
<p>“Never.”</p>
<p>“Promise?”</p>
<p>“Promise.”</p>
<p>A beat of silence.</p>
<p>“So, there’s a plan?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thing about doing life with Chris is Tobin can’t get enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After their first official date, their life sort of becomes one giant date. It’s as if they’ve known each other for years, not months. It’s as if they’ve been together months, not weeks. They go back to Tobin’s together the morning after their date, getting coffee and breakfast. Tobin has Kelley keep Kendall for what was supposed to be just a few more hours but ends up lasting another night. Kendall doesn’t mind, as Aunt Kelley is her favorite babysitter.</p>
<p>They make sure Tobin’s home is also introduced to their new relationship.</p>
<p>Chris goes to work Saturday night, but returns to Tobin’s house after work and joins them for beach day Sunday morning. Tobin thought Sunday beach day with Kendall was something that could never get better but watching Kendall splash Chris in the small waves and Chris laugh and splash her back – this was a whole new level of happiness for Tobin.</p>
<p>They splash, and play, and build sandcastles and do all the things Kendall never gets tired of doing.</p>
<p>Tobin attempts to get Chris to learn to surf this time, however she’s very much not interested.</p>
<p>Actually, her specific words were “Hell, no Tobin.”</p>
<p>The most she’ll do is lounge on the board in the afternoon, long after the largest waves have come and gone.</p>
<p>The day flies by, and Tobin and Chris are unloading all of the beach items from the Jeep, Kendall having run inside to start her own bath because “there’s sand everywhere Toby!”</p>
<p>Tobin asks Chris to stay for dinner, that she’d order pizza. Chris agrees as long as cheesy bread is included in the order.</p>
<p>The three spend their evening indulging in their pizza and cheesy bread dinner, cuddled on the couch, watching The Little Mermaid, Kendall’s current favorite obsession. Every time Tobin looks over, she sees Kendall scooting closer and closer to Chris, until finally, she’s practically sitting in her lap. She’s ready to say something, to let Kendall know to give Chris some space, when Chris leans down and snuggles into Kendall.</p>
<p>That was a heart-swelling moment for Tobin.</p>
<p>Someone who would accept Tobin <em>with Kendall</em> was something she really never thought she’d find. She was content to live her life and raise Kendall the way her sister would want, without the distractions of meaningless dates that would never lead anywhere. Then, Chris walked right into her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Literally.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Twice, actually.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin has never been more thankful to be run into.</p>
<p>She didn’t believe in fate. She did, however, believe in God’s plan.</p>
<p>And what a plan it is.</p>
<p>Tobin hadn’t been a believer in love at first sight. It felt cheesy to even suggest that something like that could exist for some people. She had seen (literally) plenty of women in her life. Had known friends and family that had been in relationships and marriages that didn’t work out. Love is hard, that’s what she is confident about. But how else she can describe her sudden emotions for Chris, and the ease with which she had fallen for her, well, Tobin doesn’t know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Over the next several weeks, they go out several times; also opting to spend time just hanging around Tobin’s house some of the time, when Kendall is with them.</p>
<p>Kendall LOVES Chris. Like, more than perhaps anyone.</p>
<p>The little girl is constantly asking Tobin when they’ll see Chris next, always wanting to show her something or do something with her.</p>
<p>Tobin had been worried after their first date that Kendall would have a hard time adjusting to someone else being around for all of their “Toby and Kendall time,” but instead found that the kid is almost ready to replace her with Chris.</p>
<p>She has a hard time being upset about it.</p>
<p>Chris becomes a regular attendee of Sunday Beach Day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few weeks have passed since their first date, and Chris is once again with them at Tuesday Family Dinner, being hosted by Tobin, in her own home this time. Tobin has always been proud of the home she’s built and getting to use it for these family dinners is her favorite.</p>
<p>The one story, ranch style home was her parents before her dad passed and her mom moved back east. Tobin had worked hard to make the changes she wanted to create the home for her and Kendall.</p>
<p>It’s a modern, three-bedroom house, light grey walls, surf boards in the rafters of the open ceiling. Kendall had gotten to pick exactly how she wanted her room when they repainted it last year, and to no surprise to anyone, chose mermaids.</p>
<p>The house has everything that a bachelorette pad truly needs - but the seller is the backyard.</p>
<p>The glass sliding backdoor takes you out to a massive patio, with couches and outdoor lounge chairs. The covered area is perfect for evenings like tonight, grilling out with friends. Beyond the patio is beautiful, green grass that Tobin prides herself on spending way too much time taking care of. The crew often set up cornhole boards or a soccer net when they have family night at Tobin’s house, both being out tonight. The yard isn’t fenced, and that’s the last argument she has left to use whenever Kendall asks her for a puppy, which is often.</p>
<p>She’ll give in one day, she already knows. Especially after learning how much Chris loves dogs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The two had spent some portion of every day together of the past several weeks, and Chris had been to every Tuesday Family Dinner since the first she went to. The whole crew was there, Ali, Ashlyn and baby Sloane the last to arrive; Tobin had fired up the grill a little while ago to begin preparing dinner for everyone. There are few things that give Tobin as much joy as getting to cook for all of her friends while they all hang out together.</p>
<p>Tobin turns from the grill, having set the heat to where it needed to be to finish cooking the burgers currently on it. She sees Ali excuse herself to use the restroom, passing off little baby Sloane to Chris who was sitting next to her, as she went.</p>
<p>Tobin walks over from the grill, glancing at Sonnett and Lindsay out in the yard with Kendall. They had brought Lindsay’s dog, Ferguson, so that Kendall could get some doggy play time in. Kendall was always looking to play with someone’s dog. Ferguson was her absolute favorite, because he seemed to have non-stop energy, much like herself. She laughs as she watches Fergy run right past Lindsay, right into Sonnett, when running from Kendall.</p>
<p>Fergy definitely doesn’t like Kendall as much as Kendall likes Fergy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Turning back to walk to Chris, she sees her holding baby Sloane, deep in conversation with Megan about something that happened at the restaurant. Tobin sits next to Chris, looking at baby Sloane’s perfect little head of hair, combed meticulously to the side, definitely by Ashlyn. She’s chuckling to herself when Chris finishes her conversation with Megan and turns to look at her, “What’s so funny?”.</p>
<p>“Nothing, just thinking about Ashlyn probably spending 30 minutes making Sloane’s baby hair look perfect.” Tobin responds, as she spreads her arms around the back of the couch they’re on, her right arm coming down on Chris’ shoulder.</p>
<p>Their relationship is not new to their friends, and Tobin suspects it also wasn’t surprising. Kelley, in classic form, had given her a high five; Alex had smiled and hugged her. Chris had told her that Ali had been very supportive when they had talked about the first date at work the next night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Allie’s response was classic, as always, “HARRY YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.”</p>
<p>“YES HARRY, I KNOW.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They hadn’t talked about labels, but to Tobin, it didn’t matter. Close enough to not argue with Harry. No one should ever argue with Harry.</p>
<p>They’re old enough that it shouldn’t really matter anyway. Plus, they’ve both discussed their mutual hatred of casual dating, so why would either of them categorize what they’re doing as that?</p>
<p>She should probably make sure they’re on the same page about labels, though. Or just, ask Chris to be official.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chris laughed at Tobin’s comment about Sloane’s hair, then looked back up at Tobin, “I mean, she did do a good job, you gotta admit.”</p>
<p>The laughing comment brings her from her spiral about dating labels and back to the conversation at hand, “Okay, but she’s a baby, why does anyone spend that much time on a baby’s hair? I don’t even spend that much time on my hair.”</p>
<p>“Because it’s cute? I don’t know, I’ve never had a baby.” Chris smiles and laughs in response, looking back down at little Sloane in her arms. “Also, not everyone can be as effortless as you with their hair.” She says, rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>It’s true, Tobin doesn’t really have to try when it comes to her hair. She gets effortless, beachy waves by just air drying, and Chris has made her annoyance about it clear many times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But that’s not the part of the conversation that Tobin is focused on. She’s stuck on what Chris said just before that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The comment should not have spurred the question. People talk about babies all the time, especially when they’re literally holding one. “Do you… do you want to have kids?” Tobin asks. She’s not sure where it comes from, or maybe she is, and she just doesn’t want to admit it. She’s always wanted kids, loving her nieces and nephews.</p>
<p>Proof of that - currently running around the yard chasing a French bulldog.</p>
<p>But Tobin has always wanted her own children. And though it is WAY too early to be asking a question like this, and they’re in public and one of her nosey friends could have heard her if they were listening (by some blessed hope, they weren’t, they were discussing driving into Portland for some event coming up), she IS asking the question. Because if she thought she wanted kids before, the thought of have kids with Chris? That’s above and beyond. She can’t NOT think about it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thoughts of ‘love at first sight’ creep up again.</p>
<p>The memories of her mother saying, ‘<em>when you know, you know</em>, <em>Tobin</em>’ after a particularly hard breakup when she was in the military.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chris looks up at Tobin, small, almost sad smile on her face. Tobin has memorized Chris’ smiles; this one is not one of her favorites. It usually leads to cryptic answers that Tobin always wants to ask more, but she promised herself from the beginning that she wouldn’t prod. That she would wait for Chris to go at her own pace. Tobin is experienced enough in her own struggles to know that Chris has been through something that she doesn’t know about.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I think I always did as a kid and a teenager… then… life uh, … life got in the way and I guess… I feel like I lost sight of those kinds of things.” Chris blows out a breath and looks back down at little Sloane, sleeping away in her arms, “But I think the idea is growing on me a little bit.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>Chris looks back at Tobin, and Tobin finds nothing but love in her green eyes, “Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it’s enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enough that they both feel like they know another piece of the puzzle just fit, seamlessly.</p>
<p>“Okayyyy you two, enough heart eyes being made while my kid is in your arms.” Of course, Ashlyn ruins the moment between the two. To be fair, she had no idea there was a moment happening.</p>
<p>Moments like this keep happening though, that’s the thing. Little conversations that Tobin feels like mean the world. Learning as much as they can about each other, finding that they continue to fit together like two puzzle pieces, destined to finish the picture. So, Tobin will get over being interrupted because she got to have this moment at all.</p>
<p>Tuesday Family Dinner goes on, drinks go around, burgers and hot dogs are grilled and eaten. Games are played, conversation is had. Every time they get together, the group comes closer together as a family. Every time, Tobin thinks it’s impossible to be this happy. And every time, her happiness finds a way to outgrow itself.</p>
<p>These last few Family Dinners, with Chris next to her all night, always touching, always in touch – it’s her new favorite. It’s always been one of Tobin’s favorite traditions, but somehow it always becomes so even more. And as she’s coming from Kendall’s room, the 5-year-old fast asleep after chasing Fergy around all night, Chris tells her that it’s her favorite too.</p>
<p>“Really? Better than Sunday Beach Day? Tobin asks, eyebrows raised.</p>
<p>“Okayyy maybe not better than Sunday Beach Day. I mean, what could possibly beat that tradition?” Chris laughs in response, following Tobin to her room, having been told by Tobin that staying the night was not an option, considering they’d both had some to drink. Not that Chris would argue anyway. Having worked that morning, then gone straight into Family Dinner prep, the two had not gotten hardly any time together alone. So, of course she’d stay, even if just to be a little closer to Tobin for the rest of the night.</p>
<p>“Hey, it got us here.” Tobin says, pulling back the covers of her bed, after they’ve done all of their nightly routines to get ready for bed. Tobin never saw the thrill of living daily with another person. Like, she knew that’s what you did when you got married or at least lived together, but it never enticed her in any way. In fact, it was kind of the opposite. Why would I want to have to share all of my space with another person? Why is it exciting to brush your teeth together? She tried to imagine liking a person so much that she actively wants to share her space with them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gets it now.</p>
<p>Because if that person is Chris, well.</p>
<p>She gets it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What got us here?” Chris asks, sliding into the left side of the bed. Again, perfect puzzle pieces. Tobin always wants the right side.</p>
<p>“Sunday Beach Day got us here.” Tobin responds, turning the lamp off and leaning up on her elbows over Chris.</p>
<p>“Ahh, yes I suppose it did.” Chris says, reaching up to give Tobin a peck on the lips, assuming that’s why she’s leaning over her. She’s more than ready to succumb to the sleep that’s been knocking on the door for the last hour.</p>
<p>“And do you know what ‘here’ is?” Tobin asks, leaning back down to get yet another kiss from the woman. Chris just looks at her puzzled, clearly not knowing where she’s going with this.</p>
<p>“Here is home.”</p>
<p>Small smiles on their faces, just staring at each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ya know, you credit a lot of things for getting us here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Barview, Oregon.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>An hour and a half from Portland.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oregon. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>That’s where she went.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>That's where she got off the bus.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>What the hell is in Oregon?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>It had taken time and research. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Accessing cameras and information that he didn’t have access to.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>But it was over. He found her. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>And the cherry on top? Hours spent combing through social medias geotagged in Barview had paid off. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Someone had posted pictures tonight, and in the background, there she was. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She’s still in Barview. That’s where she's staying.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>So, now he has to go and bring her home.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I'm Running For My Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Sacramento.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>10 hours left. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He takes a sip from the bottle, water to anyone who asks, as always.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>10 hours.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then he just has to find her in the small town.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>How hard can it be?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>___</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Mornings were always Christen’s favorite time of the day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before things got bad with <em>him</em>, she loved to start her day with yoga and meditation. She prided herself on her ability to center herself before her day began; it made her thrive in ways she hadn’t before. Then, for no reason other than because she loved it, he started hating her doing yoga. He hated her waking up before him, getting out of bed without him; unless it was to cook for him.</p>
<p>She wonders if he just hated her in general. Yet, he claimed to love her.</p>
<p>But now, she feels like she’s taking mornings back.</p>
<p>The first time she’d mentioned doing yoga, a couple of weeks ago, Tobin was excited for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If it’s something you love to do, you should always be able to do it.” she had said, handing over the yoga mat she had bought Christen the afternoon after their conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So yeah, mornings were her favorite again. Because even on the days she didn’t get up and do yoga, lying in bed in Tobin’s arms was the best alternative she could think of. Tobin hated mornings, always slow to wake up, even slower to get up. The first morning they had overslept, Kendall had bounded into the room and onto the bed like a puppy waiting to be let out first thing in the morning. Thankfully, the almost 6-year-old hadn’t even batted an eye at Christen being there, just snuggled in-between the two, asking what was for breakfast. Now that school has started, Tobin gets up to get her ready for her first weeks of 1<sup>st</sup> grade, feeds her, gets her on the bus, then promptly falls back into bed.</p>
<p>“Perks of being your own boss.” she says, as she pulls Christen back into her, nuzzling into her neck. It typically lasts about 15 minutes before Christen gets up to get her own day started. “Well, some of us have actual bosses that will be upset if we’re late… again.”</p>
<p>“That was one time, and I apologized to Ali myself.” Tobin had said.</p>
<p>And it’s true, she had. Apologized, that is. Was she actually sorry? Ali and Christen had agreed, definitely not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But no one is ever really mad at Tobin Heath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Which is exactly where Christen finds herself this morning, warm coffee dripping down her work shirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Baby, I am so sorry. I didn’t even see it in your hands, I swear.” Tobin says, coming around to Christen’s front from behind her where she had knocked the cup in Christen’s hands while trying to hug her from behind. Thankfully, between how long ago it was made, and the creamer Christen had put in it, it was not burn level hot. Just uncomfortable warm.</p>
<p>“It’s ok, I just need to run home and get a new shirt. Just… warn a girl next time you decide to get handsy at 7:15am.” Christen smirks, walking around Tobin to put the now empty coffee cup in the sink.</p>
<p>“I just wanted a hug…” Tobin mumbles, walking dejectedly towards the garage. “Ok well, I’ll drive you over, so you aren’t late for work, ok?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’d be great, please.”</p>
<p>Just then, Tobin’s phone rings, “It’s Kelley... Whatup? You what? Dude, for real? No… it’s fine. I’ll be there in a minute.”</p>
<p>“She locked herself out again didn’t she?” Christen laughed at Tobin’s glare, knowing by now that this was almost a weekly occurrence. “Ok well, I’m going to take my bike then because the store is the opposite direction of my house.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? It won’t take long with Kelley.” Tobin asks, sliding her shoes on and grabbing her keys.</p>
<p>“Mmm, I know you. You say that, but you’ll get there, then you’ll want to check over the shelves and make sure everything is straight and clean. Then one of the morning regulars will come in and you’ll get into a lengthy conversation with them. Next thing you know, you’ll be apologizing to Ali again.” Christen smirks at Tobin’s facial response. She knows she’s right. “It’s fine Tobs, I have time to make it there and back. Worst case, I’ll shoot Ali a text and tell her if I’m late again, it’s your fault.” And with that, Christen is smiling and laughing while she’s walking out the door, leaving a stunned Tobin in the doorway.</p>
<p>Tobin has just enough time to catch up to say, “Well if you’re gonna be late anyway, we might as well make it worth it, right?”</p>
<p>Christen just laughs at her, predicting that response. “Bye Tobin, I’ll see you when I get off.”</p>
<p>“4:00pm at the park, don’t forget!”</p>
<p>“I won’t!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thing about secrets is…</p>
<p>They’re hard to keep.</p>
<p>Impossible to hide forever.</p>
<p>The best serial killers are often found because they can’t keep their own secrets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Secrets… they’re hard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Christen is riding her bike to her home, the thoughts plague her mind about telling Tobin. At this point, she’s not sure how she can. But in the same thought, she’s not sure how she can’t.</p>
<p>Tobin cares about her. That much Christen knows. But how far will that care go? Will she care enough to understand why she did what she did? Will she be disgusted with Christen and send her away, call the L.A.P.D to have her arrested?</p>
<p>No, Tobin would never.</p>
<p>And yet? She’s still hesitant at best about telling her. But she has to.</p>
<p>Because the thing about secrets is they’ll eat you alive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chris, hey!” Katie jumps off of her porch, jogging to wear Christen is leaning her bike against her own porch to run inside.</p>
<p>“Katie, hey, what’s up?” Chris asks. She really doesn’t have time for a lengthy conversation, knowing she’ll already have to keep a steady pace to get to work on time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eh, it’s fine. She’ll blame Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing much, just uh. Just wanted to see how you’re doing.” Katie says, coming to stop in front of Christen. The two hadn’t seen a whole lot of each other recently, Christen blames herself, obviously. But Katie was her first friend here, so she definitely wants to maintain the friendship that they had created.</p>
<p>“I’m doing… I’m honestly doing great. I’m really happy. And… I guess I haven’t been able to say that in a long time.” She smiles, looking down at the now dried coffee stain on her shirt, remembering how it happened, which just makes the smile grown even more.</p>
<p>“Happiness looks good on you, my friend.” Katie says, but Christen notices her smile doesn’t seem as large as normal. Katie has an ever-present ray of sunshine in her life from her first day here, so the smaller smile is surprising.</p>
<p>“Yeah. What about you, everything good with you?” Christen asks, because how can she not?</p>
<p>“Uh… yeah. I just… actually, I gotta run. But Chris? Um. Be careful today, ok?” Katie says, backing away and retreating back over to her own home.</p>
<p>“Uh yeah. Of course. Always.” Christen is absolutely confused. Katie had never told her to ‘be careful’ before, and rarely ever tripped over her own words.</p>
<p>As she responds, Katie turns one final time, “Are you going to the Town Anniversary Parade today?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, as if I have a choice. Everyone says it’s the place to be. Tobin insists I have to experience the day the way the Family does the celebration.” She laughs, remembering Tobin’s theatrics a few days ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Chris, this isn’t just SOME parade. It is THE parade of the YEAR.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Are there multiple parades a year?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Well…. No.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Katie smiles again, the same small smile. “Well promise me that you’ll be careful. You just… you never know who may show up at those kinds of events.” And with that Katie walked off into her house.Christen was honestly stunned by the statement. Katie couldn’t possibly know anything about Christen’s past. She had been as cryptic as possible with everyone, Katie included. But something about what Katie said, the way she said it, her eyes looking through Christen…</p>
<p>Christen is almost scared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because maybe she does know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Toby I can see the whole parade from here!” Kendall screams from the top of Tobin’s shoulders. It was close to 4:30pm, the parade start time, and Chris should have been here by now; she should have gotten off work almost an hour ago. Tobin was starting to worry, having called her twice with no response. That wasn’t necessarily unusual, Chris often offered to stay late when someone couldn’t come in time or when they hit a rush right at the end of her shift, but an hour was pushing it for Tobin. They had been looking forward to this… well Tobin and Kendall had, Chris just appeased them with mock energy. But Tobin didn’t want her to miss this, it being one of Tobin and Kendall’s favorite days of the fall.</p>
<p>She continued to look around, hoping to get a glimpse of the curly hair she was so fond of, but nothing yet. The longer that went on, the more tempted Tobin was to pass Kendall off to Allie and go looking for Chris. It was on that train of thought that a hand is placed on her waist, the smell she’s so used to, lavender and a sprinkling of seafood, comes into her senses, and she automatically relaxes, knowing the woman had finally found them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, I tried to call you. I was about to come looking for you to make sure you could find us.” Tobin says, looking over Kendall’s leg on her shoulder to see Chris standing next to them.</p>
<p>“CHRIS! IT’S PARADE DAY!” Kendall yells, quickly scrambling off of Tobin to stand in-between them so she could hold Chris’ hand as well. They had a good enough spot on the side of the street that she didn’t really have to be up high to see what was going on.</p>
<p>“Hey cutie! I missed you! Did you have a good day at school?” Kendall just nods, leaning into Chris and smiling. Chris was her absolute favorite person nowadays, and Tobin can’t complain.</p>
<p>She’s her favorite too, so. “Sorry, I think my phone is dead. I’m not sure I actually remembered to charge it last night.”</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s ok, don’t be sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Tobin says, smiling over and reaching to move a small piece out of Chris’ eye that had fallen out of her bun. The two stare at each other for a moment, smiling and happy. Then of course, the bubble is broken.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What-Up, Lovebirds?! Ready for my sick float this year?” Kelley comes jumping out of absolutely nowhere, and Chris jumps back, knocking into Allie behind her. The group just laughs at Kelley’s usual antics, completely accustomed to them.</p>
<p>“YOUR float? Don’t you mean OUR float?” Tobin asks, glaring slightly at Kelley for the commotion she had caused.</p>
<p>“I mean, I do all the work every year.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, because I pay you.”</p>
<p>“Loser.”</p>
<p>“Asshat.”</p>
<p>“GUYS.” Allie comes the rescue of the conversation, refusing to listen to her friends go on and on anymore. “Kelley, Tobin owns the store, and all the supplies you used to build the float, to PROMOTE the store. I think she wins this one.”</p>
<p>“Whatever. I’m a partial owner.” Kelley says, punching Tobin on the arm.</p>
<p>“10% and I’m really not sure why I ever gave you that.” Tobin grumbles, leaning down after noticing Kendall was having a hard time with tying her shoe. “Anyway, yes, I am excited to see all the hard work you put in this year, and I fully expect another 1<sup>st</sup> place trophy on our shelf.”</p>
<p>Kelley just smirks, confident in her float as always. They were back-to-back champs, and Kelley knew year 3 was incoming, just a matter of hours.</p>
<p>“Anyyyyway. Don’t you need to be heading to get set up?” Allie says, truthfully just tired of listening to the two. She doesn’t know how serious things are between Tobin and Chris, but she can’t imagine having to deal with these two as much as she will if she sticks around. And she’s Tobin’s best friend.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Ima peace out. Watch out for Sonnett, she’s never ridden with me before, so she might be ready to jump out at any point.” Laughing maniacally, as only Kelley can, she walks off in the direction of the floats.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a parade…. How—”</p>
<p>“Don’t ask.” Tobin says, standing back up from helping Kendall.</p>
<p>“Aunt Kelley is crazy.” Kendall says, and it causes the whole crew to burst in laughter.</p>
<p>“Yeah, she definitely is.”</p>
<p>“But we love her, right? Cause she’s family.”</p>
<p>“And we always love family.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>A parade.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Of course, there’s a parade.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>At first, he’s furious. The massive groups of people. How is he ever going to find her?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then, a thought. It narrows down the search area. There are enough people on the streets that he assumes most of the town is here. She has to be here.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’s memorized a few faces of others around her in the photos he found online. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>One in particular.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>The brunette with the cutting jaw, sitting much too close to man’s fiancé. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He doesn’t know who she is… but he doesn’t care.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’ll kill her. And bring Christen home.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>___</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, snow cone or popcorn?”</p>
<p>“But Toby, I want both!”</p>
<p>“Bud, it’s way too late in the day, and we haven’t had dinner yet. You can’t get both, ok? Just pick one.” Tobin says, rubbing her eyes and praying that the 5-year-old can understand and not pitch a fit. She was almost always well-behaved, rarely ever pitched a fit. But when she did, it was not good.</p>
<p>“Fine…. popcorn!” Kendall states, enthusiastically. Tobin takes this as a win, since the bags were definitely big enough for the both of them to have some, and Chris as well.</p>
<p>Tobin looks around for the green-eyed woman, having not seen her in since she had headed off to find a bathroom. It had been about 15 minutes, and Tobin was surprised she wasn’t back yet. She decided to pass a happy Kendall off to Allie this time and go look for the woman. They hadn’t had any time to just talk since this morning, so she figured this would be a good opportunity.</p>
<p>The parade itself was a massive success, Kelley’s float being dominant as ever. No one could ever compare to the intricate designs that Tobin paints on them every year. Chris had been shocked to see all the work Tobin had done on “Kelley’s” float. Every year it was sea-themed, just like the whole town, and this year, they had asked Kendall what she thought they should model it after.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Blowfish. That was her answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, a blowfish it was. And the blowfish had one first place.</p>
<p>After the parade, the town leisurely spends the rest of the evening in the park and on the streets. There’s live music and multiple food trucks, all sorts of fun things for kids. It’s one of the main reasons Tobin loves this night. It reminds her how much she loves this town.</p>
<p>When she gets back to where some of the crew is lounging on the park grass, she asks Allie to keep an eye on Kendall for her. “I’ll be back, I’m just gonna go find Chris.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course.”</p>
<p>Tobin walks away from her group towards the direction of the closes open restrooms that the signs point to. There was a cluster of Port-a-Potties on the far side of the field, but Tobin can’t imagine Chris CHOOSING to use them over the actual restrooms. ‘I mean, who would?’ she thinks.</p>
<p>After about 15 minutes, Tobin again begins to worry. It had been far too long for her taste since she had seen Chris. She had already checked two different restrooms, but nothing so far. The third restroom she’s made it to is abandoned, and by the looks of it, no one has been around here since earlier in the day, during the parade. She was about to head back to see if she had missed Chris in passing, thinking maybe she’s already back with the crew on the field, enjoying the popcorn. That has to be it, she thinks.</p>
<p>When Tobin turns around, she’s face-to-face with a tall, blonde man that she’s never seen in town before. She’d know, the bus stop is right in front of her store. Not to mention, the stranger is wearing a suit, which isn’t common attire in a coastal city like Barview. Granted, his suit is looking a little rough, the tie loosened and dangling, sweat stains under his arms. He looks rough, Tobin thinks. Maybe he needs help.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey man, can I help you with anything?” Tobin asks, peering around to see that they’re the only two people around. She feels an unsteadiness inside of her, for what reason, she isn’t sure.</p>
<p>“Where is she.” The stranger demands. He’s close enough to her that Tobin can smell the alcohol off his breath.</p>
<p>Ahh, that makes the whole disgruntled vibe make more sense.</p>
<p>“Ahhm, who exactly?” Tobin answers. She’s admittedly confused, having no idea who this man is nor who he’s looking for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know who.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that, Tobin is beyond confused. This man obviously thinking that he knows Tobin and that Tobin knows who he’s looking for. “Listen man, I think you have me confused with someone else.”</p>
<p>The man continues to glare at her, while also occasionally looking around for other people. Tobin decides she’s had enough, reaching into her pocket to dial her top speed dial/emergency contact. Thankfully, that’s Allie, who demanded she make her the first one, <em>“Just in case, Tobin.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“WHERE IS SHE?” he demands again, and at this point, Tobin is actually concerned. He’s clearly deranged, but all Tobin can think to do is pacify him and keep the situation as calm as possible until someone comes this way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just, give me a name, and maybe I can help.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Tobin sees the grip of the handgun, it takes everything in her not to immediately jump for it. Considering the situation she’s in, she doesn’t see a lot of options. He could easily shoot her, and no one would likely hear, considering all of the noise from the festivities. But he’s so far gone in terms of control, Tobin knows she would not win the strength battle over the weapon, so she has to try to talk him down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Woah, calm down man. Listen, I don’t know who you’re looking for, but I want to help.”</p>
<p>Tobin hopes that she is as calm as she can be but can hear the wavering in her own voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She begins losing hope when he pulls the slide back, loading the weapon. “You think you can just take my fiancé and I WOULDN’T CARE?! WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS CHRISTEN?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before the name can even register for Tobin, a gunshot rings out, and she sees black.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just keep calm.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I'm Wanted And On The Run</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>She can’t move, feet planted in place.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>She can’t breathe, no oxygen is in her lungs. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He found her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>HE FOUND HER.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>All the way in nowhere, Oregon.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He found her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>And more terrifying than the fact that he found her – the part that has Christen silently screaming?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>He has a gun.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>And he just shot Tobin.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen had exited the bathroom moments ago. There had been long lines at all of them, so she just picked one and went to wait. When she leaves, she thinks she sees Tobin looking around, likely looking for her. She smiles to herself when she thinks about it, the fact that Tobin cares that much. Cares enough to come find her because the bathroom line was long, so she took a while. She’s about to call out to Tobin when someone grabs her arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Christen!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Katie?” <br/><br/></p>
<p>Katie’s face was pale, and her expression was disturbing to Christen. “Are you ok? Katie, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A chill runs down Christen’s spine as she hears these words and her stomach drops. Words never held much power to Christen. She was always so action-oriented, her mentality was “put your money where your mouth is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But words had never terrified her like this before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ahh… Who, Katie? Who’s here?” She tries to play off her shock. After all, Katie has no idea who she really is, so how can she mean who she thinks she means?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Well, she’s not supposed to know who she is.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“Christen. Run.” And with that, Katie walks off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen tries to call out to her, but either Katie doesn’t hear her, or she ignores her. She’s left standing in front of the restroom, confused and disoriented by the entire interaction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>How could Katie know?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>If she does, that means he’s here.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>If she doesn’t, who is she talking about?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Run where?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>She thinks about going straight home, but then it’s like a lightbulb goes off in her head, “Tobin.”</p>
<p>She really wishes she had already told Tobin the truth, she’s going to feel really bad about disappearing on her without telling her. She thinks maybe she has time to find Tobin and tell her she needs to run home because she’s not feeling well. It’s not the best excuse, and Tobin may insist on going with her, but she’ll make it work.</p>
<p>She sets off in the direction she last saw Tobin and notices how loud the music and activities over at the park have gotten. The bathrooms are now empty, everyone having made their way over there. Truthfully, the street where the parade was now looks like a ghost town. Christen is about to give up and head back to the group, thinking Tobin must have gone back as well, when she turns a corner, and she sees the very image of her nightmares.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin is standing next to the restrooms, hands in front of herself in a protective, calming stance. And in front of her…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her fiancé.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s been drinking, she can tell. She can always tell.</p>
<p>Christen backs around the corner so she’s not out in plain sight, contemplating what to do in the moment. She figures at this point he’s already told Tobin who he is, and Tobin will likely find her and take her to him.</p>
<p>No, Tobin wouldn’t do that.</p>
<p>Except Tobin has no idea what the truth is, and he surely won’t tell her.</p>
<p>She leans back around, heavily considering the decision she’s about to try and make, when she sees him pull out a gun. Mere seconds pass, but for Christen it’s an eternity. In that moment, her feet are planted solid on the ground, she can’t move, can’t breathe. And before she can truly even think about what could happen, a gunshot sounds out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Tobin falls to the ground.</p>
<p>“TOBIN!” Christen cries out, running over to her. She didn’t even have time to think about who else she was running to, she just ran. The problem is, she ran right to him too. She gets about 5 seconds of leaning over Tobin before he’s pulling her up and dragging her away.</p>
<p>“Ahhhh, there you are. Come on, let’s go. Your little fieldtrip to POS, Oregon has come to an end.” He says, laughing maniacally as he literally drags her by her arm.</p>
<p>Being pulled away toward his car, all Christen can do is scream to no one and watch Tobin’s body, succumbing to the fate that her fiancé just killed Tobin and will likely kill her for this too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aunt Kelley, where’s Toby? And Chris?” Kendall says, sitting in Allie’s lap, eyes trained on all of the action going on in the middle of the park. Dogs running everywhere, the band picking back up with some lively music. It was almost too chaotic and loud for the 5-year-old.</p>
<p>“Tobin and Chris have been gone a long time…” Allie says, looking at Kelley who just smirks back at her. “That’s not… dude, no.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t say anything.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t have to.” Allie says, rolling her eyes. Just then, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. “Oh wait.” She says, shifting Kendall around and pulling her phone out to see Tobin calling her. “Here she is, ‘Yo, Harry. Where you is?’” Allie says, smiling at Kendall who turned around when Aunt Harry’s phone went off. “Hello? Harry?” She waits a moment, and then, “I think she butt – dialed me, because  WHAT THE—”</p>
<p>Allie almost threw her phone in shock, pulling it away from her ear to see that it was indeed Tobin that called. The screen said ‘Harry’ on it. “Guys, that was a gunshot.” Allie says, still holding the phone, pulling it back to her ear. She thinks she hears a faint “Tobin”, through the phone, maybe someone yelling, but can’t be sure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A gunshot?!’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What was a gunshot?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone begins asking questions all at once, and Allie doesn’t even know where to begin aside from going to find Tobin. “Kendall, go see Charlie and Aunt Alex, ok? I’m going to go find Toby.” She lifts the girl off of her lap and gently nudges her toward the other woman. She nods towards Alex who, despite being thoroughly confused, trusts her friend and understands her role right now in keeping Kendall calm and away from whatever is going on.</p>
<p>“Ok… find Chris too… I miss her.” Kendall says, hopping into Alex’s lap, thankfully oblivious to what the adults were discussing, way more occupied with her popcorn.</p>
<p>Allie watches her, then looks over to Kelley, “Come on.” She says, grabbing Bati’s hand as well, marching off in the direction Tobin had gone.</p>
<p>“Ok, you heard a gunshot? That’s what you’re telling us?” Bati asks, confused by the way his wife is acting. He hadn’t been paying attention to anything that was going on until she had said the word ‘gunshot.’</p>
<p>“Yes, through the phone. Tobin called me, I thought it was a butt dial because I didn’t hear her talking, then I heard mumbling, like her phone was in her pocket but she was talking to someone. Then I heard a gunshot.” Allie says, eyes scanning the crowds for the one person that can help, spotting her on the far side of the field they’re currently walking through. Thankfully, it’s in the direction of the bathrooms, so Tobin should be nearby.</p>
<p>“Allie… that’s crazy. Why would Tobin be firing a gun?” Kelley asks, also confused, but willingly participating because that’s what Kelley always does.</p>
<p>“Maybe Tobin didn’t fire a gun Kelley, I don’t know. But she’s been gone too long, so has Chris, and I’m freaked out, ok?” Allie fires off at Kelley, who acknowledges and gets where Allie is coming from. “Ashlyn!! Hey, have you seen Tobin?”</p>
<p>“Ahh, no. Actually, I was hoping to run into her today, needed to show her something.” Ashlyn says, looking around. She’s in a uniform polo, so Allie wonders if she is currently still working.</p>
<p>“Are you on duty right now? Or can you help us find her?” Allie asks, almost begging at this point.</p>
<p>“Tobin butt dialed Allie and she thinks she heard a gunshot through the phone.”</p>
<p>Allie glares over at Kelley, punching her arm. She didn’t want to give away too much information, still hoping that she didn’t actually hear what she thought, and that Tobin and Chris would come walking over any minute.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But that wasn’t happening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You what?! Wait, where was Tobin supposed to be?” Ashlyn asks, suddenly very interested in the conversation.</p>
<p>“Ah, checking the bathrooms. Chris had gone and was taking a while to come back so Tobin went looking for her.”</p>
<p>At this, Ashlyn’s face went pale white, as understanding and acknowledgement came upon her. “Guys, we just sent two patrol towards the secondary public restrooms on Broad Street. Someone reported a loud noise that they said sounded a gunshot.” Ashlyn states, reaching for her walkie talkie to request an update. “Delta 2 this is Alpha 4, requesting update on the possible shots fired on Broad, over.”</p>
<p>The four friends wait anxiously for a response, Allie in an almost full panic at the thought of Tobin being shot.</p>
<p>“Alpha 4 this is Delta 2, officers just arrived on to scene. One victim, GSW to the shoulder. Breathing, but unconscious. No offenders or weapons in sight, EMT en route, over.”</p>
<p>“Jason, tell me right now, who’s the victim? Who’s got the GSW?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s Tobin Heath, Ash.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tobin Heath you had better wake the hell up, RIGHT NOW.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That’s the first thing she hears as she begins to come around.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first thing she feels is a searing pain in her shoulder. “Ahhh...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whoa Ms. Heath, take it easy there. You’re ok, we’ve got you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first thing she sees when she manages to peel her eyes open is Allie hovering over her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my gosh, Harry. You scare the hell out of me.” Allie says, leaning back now that Tobin is waking up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next thing she sees is an EMT next to her, bandaging up her shoulder. “What the hell is going on?”</p>
<p>“Tobin,” Ashlyn says her name, and Tobin looks over to see her detective police friend looking at her very seriously. “You got shot.”</p>
<p>It takes another minute, but suddenly it’s all rushing back to her.</p>
<p>Looking for Chris, the blonde man, his gun, who HE was looking for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It couldn’t be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ashlyn, where is the guy who shot me?” Tobin asks, sitting up and wincing in pain.</p>
<p>“Whoa, Ms. Heath, be careful. You hit your head and likely have a concussion as well.” The EMT says, adjusting to continue applying pressure to Tobin’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Tobin, we don’t even know who shot you. By the time we all got here, you were alone.” Ashlyn says. “The officers who arrived on scene say a witness saw a black BMW with California plates pulling away… we’ve got guys looking into it. Can you tell me about what happened?”</p>
<p>“I don’t really know, Ash. Some guy I’ve never seen walked over to me while I was looking around the restrooms; he yelled at me for a few minutes, then he shot me.” Tobin states, feeling annoyed at having to have this conversation, and annoyed that she just got shot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Which… she feels like she has the right to feel annoyed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were looking for Chris?” Ashlyn asks, pulling something out of her pocket.</p>
<p>“Yeah… I was.”</p>
<p>“Tobin… I need to show you something. Privately.”</p>
<p>As Allie and Kelley back up for a moment, the EMT excuses himself to prepare a stretcher to transport Tobin to the hospital, now that her shoulder was stabilized.</p>
<p>“This came over the fax machine a few weeks ago it looks like, but I think it got stuck in some other papers. I just happened to be going through those papers when I saw it.” Ashlyn says, handing over a “Wanted” bulletin to Tobin’s good arm.</p>
<p>“What… is this? I don’t understand.” Tobin looks down at the paper, back up to Ashlyn, then down to the paper again, hoping Ashlyn can help her make sense of it. There in black and white, was Chris. Only in this photo, her hair is straight and longer, and she’s not wearing her glasses that she often has on her or with her. The poster information shows her name to be Christen Press. She’s from Los Angeles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she’s wanted on suspicion of murder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ashlyn… this isn’t. This can’t be right.” Tobin says, shaking her head and trying to stuff the paper back in Ashlyn’s hand.</p>
<p>“Tobin, that’s an LAPD official ‘Wanted’ bulletin.” She keeps her voice low so that the others won’t hear the discussion they’re having. “I triple checked.”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s wrong.”</p>
<p>“How much do you truly know about her?” Ashlyn asks Tobin, who’s eyeing the EMT getting the stretcher out of the ambulance.</p>
<p>“ENOUGH ASHLYN. I KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW SHE’S NOT A KILLER.” Tobin loses all of her cool. Her shoulder hurts like shit, she has a headache that she suspects will rapidly turn into a migraine soon, and Ashlyn is accusing her girlfriend of being a murderer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, sue her for freaking out a little bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kelley and Allie come running back over, Tobin notices Allie is on the phone.</p>
<p>“Your girlfriend is not a what?” Kelley asks, going back and forth between Ashlyn and Tobin. She sees the paper and looks at Tobin who just nods to her. Ripping it out of Ashlyn’s hands to see, with Allie over her shoulder.</p>
<p>“What the hell is this?” Allie asks, having put her phone back down.</p>
<p>“Exactly what looks like.”</p>
<p>“No.” Kelley states, shoving the paper away. “Absolutely not. No way. There is no way on this earth that sweet, sweet Chris is a killer.”</p>
<p>“I agree.” Allie says looking over to Tobin, “Alex and Serv have Kendall and they’re going back to their house, so don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Harry.”</p>
<p>“Listen guys, I don’t think she’s a killer either. But like I told Tobin, this is an official bulletin. We have to take these seriously.” Ashlyn says, folding it back up and holding it in her hand. “So, you said it was a man that shot you Tobin?”</p>
<p>“Yes. A man.” Tobin responds, glaring at Ashlyn and even daring her to insinuate that it was Chris. Her brain is still picking apart the poster she just saw and piecing it together with what she remembers from what happened. The puzzle pieces are all there, she just needs a few questions answered before she can put them in place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had a gun, in a holster. Kind of like Ashlyn’s.</p>
<p>He was in a suit. Who wears a suit? Lawyers, maybe. They don’t carry guns. Feds. Detectives.</p>
<p>No, Ashlyn doesn’t wear a suit.</p>
<p>But this is a small town. She’d seen pictures of her in Portland, she’d dressed up more there.</p>
<p>He was drunk, that was certain. They wouldn’t send a drunk officer or detective into the field.</p>
<p>He wanted to find Christen. Who he called his fiancé.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“… eye color, anything you can remember about him to the sketch artist.” Ashlyn finishes whatever she was telling Tobin that Tobin was not at all listening to.</p>
<p>“Ashlyn….” Tobin says, still staring at the ground.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Where is Chris?”</p>
<p>“We don’t know. We can’t find her.” Ashlyn responds, curious as to where Tobin is going with this. “We’ve searched her house, the restaurant. She’s not here.”</p>
<p>“Ash… what style of 9 mil does the LAPD use?” Tobin asks, again, not making eye contact.</p>
<p>Ashlyn is beyond confused, with no relevance whatsoever to that question. She’s now almost positive that Tobin has a concussion. “Ahh, last I heard, Beretta 92FS I think…”</p>
<p>“Why, Tobin?” Allie asks, not being able to wait until Tobin is done asking these questions.</p>
<p>“And a detective for the LAPD could make a bulletin like this, right?” Tobin says, reaching for the poster in Ashlyn’s hand.</p>
<p>“Um, yeah. I guess.”</p>
<p>Tobin has put together every single piece of information she has from today and added it to all the questions she still had about Chris and some of her mannerisms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s like a lightbulb has gone off for Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ash.”</p>
<p>“What, Tobes?”</p>
<p>“I think Chris is in danger.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She ran away.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We have to find him, Ash.” Tobin states. She had just finished walking Ashlyn, Kelley, Allie, and Bati through every thought in her mind regarding the situation. She reached her own conclusion and was positive that it’s the truth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chris – Christen – is a domestic abuse victim. Her fiancé is a LAPD detective who used his position to gain access to create the bulletin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took one phone call for Ashlyn to confirm that he was placed on administrative leave, following an incident where he was found to be intoxicated at work just 3 days ago.</p>
<p>Also, there are no active warrants or inquiries out on ‘Christen Press.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It answers many questions. Why Chris is always so timid, why she’s hesitant to speak to anyone, why she’s easily startled, why she doesn’t drink. Why she’s so vague about life details.</p>
<p>She ran away, to get away from him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The EMT had been hounding her for a solid 5 minutes, but she kept declining. ‘<em>Am I gonna bleed out? No? Then I’m ok for now, I’ll come to the hospital when Chris is safe.’ </em>She had said, sending them on their way. The bullet had gone clean through her shoulder, and truthfully, it was a dull ache right now. She knew it would be a lot worse later, having been shot once in the military, but that was not important right now.</p>
<p>The only thing that matters is</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We have to find Chris before he hurts her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. You Don't Know The Half Of The Abuse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’ve been driving for almost an hour, and he hasn’t said a word to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s terrified.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knows that his anger is only building monumentally. She’ll pay for this in ways she’s never experienced before.</p>
<p>She’s not sure she’ll actually survive it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who is she?” he finally says. She looks over at him but his eyes stay on the road.</p>
<p>“Who is who?” she asks. She’s not sure why. She knows that he knows about Tobin. How? She has no idea. But he just shot her, seemingly as a ploy to get her to come out from hiding.</p>
<p>“Christen. Don’t play games. That’s not a good idea.” He says, taking a sip from his bottle, the smell of vodka wafts through the car.</p>
<p>“She’s just a friend, Bryan. Just a friend.” And she prays, PRAYS, that he believes her.</p>
<p>She doesn’t necessarily believe in God, but Tobin does. It’s a conversation they’ve had once or twice. But right now, she’s praying fervently.</p>
<p>“And why, exactly, did you need to come make friends in Oregon?” His voice is on edge, as if one wrong word will set him completely off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Which she knows it will.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just… ah. Just needed a short break. I was coming back. I was always coming back to you Bry.” She uses the nickname that she had given him when they were dating, one she uses often when trying to convey non-existent affection.</p>
<p>For a moment, she thinks it works. He seems appeased with that answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then without warning – POP – across her cheek from his right hand.</p>
<p>“DON’T YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST LEAVE AND I WON’T FIND YOU” he’s screaming maniacally as he swerves on the road. “YOU DON’T GET TO JUST TAKE A BREAK AND LEAVE ME.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>POP</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another slap on her cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Honestly. Christen is thankful. If he gets this moment now, it may lessen his anger later when they aren’t in a car and he’s not limited in his mobility.</p>
<p>When she looks up at him after the slap, she sees his focus has moved to something else. In the rearview mirror, there are blue flashing lights behind them.</p>
<p>“What the hell.” He grunts, beginning to slow down and pull the car off the edge of the highway. “We do not have time for this… You” he says, glaring at her and pointing a finger at her, “Keep your mouth shut.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen can only nod and pray more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The officer approaches the window and begins asking the regular questions in a routine traffic stop. Bryan gives over his license and registration, showing his LAPD badge to the officer, joking back and forth with him. The officer smiles, takes the documentation, and walks back to his car.</p>
<p>They’re sitting for what feels like forever, but in reality, is likely 20-30 minutes.</p>
<p>“What the hell is taking him so damn long? He should have run my badge number and been back in minutes.” He says, grumbling.</p>
<p>Truthfully, Christen isn’t listening. She’s looking out the window at the forest of trees and calculating how far she can get if she just runs.</p>
<p>Maybe this traffic stop is a blessing in disguise.</p>
<p>The officer who pulled them over comes back to the window at that moment, and that’s when things really begin to go downhill.</p>
<p>“Sir, I’m going to need you to step out of the vehicle.” The officer says, leaning into the car and turning the ignition off to grab the keys.</p>
<p>“Excuse me?!” Bryan responds, grabbing the officer’s hand.</p>
<p>“Sir, let go of my hand and step out of the car.” The officer begins to get forceful in his voice, creating a more demanding presence.</p>
<p>“And why the hell would I do that?” Bryan asks.</p>
<p>“You were going 25 over the speed limit and swerving recklessly. Your badge number is suspended, and I’m going to need to test whatever is in that bottle to eliminate drinking while driving.” The officer says, opening his door. “You’re also going to be taking a sobriety test.”</p>
<p>“The hell I am.”</p>
<p>Throughout the whole interaction, Christen can feel her determination to run getting stronger. If you had asked her months ago if her fiancé was capable of killing someone, she would have said no. But then she watched him shoot Tobin because he somehow knows who Tobin is to her. She’s getting the same feeling now with this officer that Bryan will soon unload his drunken anger on this man. There’s no way he’ll let himself go to prison.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If he shoots the police officer, they go back on the road and Christen will likely be next.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, she runs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For both her and hopefully the officer.</p>
<p>She tries not to think twice as she throws the door open and runs into the cluster of trees. She hears both Bryan and the officer yelling at her, then yelling at each other. It’s about 20 more seconds before she hears a gunshot sound out behind her. She knows, truly knows, Bryan just shot that officer, and he’s coming after her next. So, she runs like her life depends on it.</p>
<p>As she begins to run out of breath, she surveys the area. Her two options are to keep running or find a place to hide. She desperately looks around for something, anything to hide in. When she looks to her left, she sees a giant cluster of logs, and promptly climbs in one, resuming the praying she was doing earlier in the car.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There, Ashlyn, there!!” Tobin says, pointing frantically at the police car and BMW on the side of the road. Ashlyn had put out an alert on the vehicle to several counties directly below Barview on the roads back to Los Angeles, and it looks like it paid off.</p>
<p>“Oh shit, there’s someone on the ground.” Kelley says, leaning up from the backseat. The 3 had hopped in Ashlyn’s cruiser as soon as Tobin could get up from the ground, all while the EMT was berating her and telling her to be extremely careful with her shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t matter to Tobin though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dispatch, I have a 1020 in Lunar County, Officer down, requesting immediate backup from local authorities—” Ashlyn called into her radio as Tobin and Kelley jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped. Kelley runs over to the fallen officer to give him a once over, “He’s breathing! He’s got a vest on; it took the heat of the shot.” Kelley finishes by putting the man in a recovery position while waiting on EMT to arrive for him.</p>
<p>Tobin has searched both vehicles and found nothing, “They’re not here!” she yells to the others. She’s looking all around when a gunshot sounds off not too far into the woods off the side of the road.</p>
<p>Tobin makes eye contact with Ashlyn and Kelley, all knowing who is in those woods and just how dangerous they truly are.</p>
<p>“Give me a gun, Ashlyn.”</p>
<p>“Tobin, I—”</p>
<p>“I’m not asking, Ashlyn! He could kill her, or you, or me! Give me a gun!” Tobin yells, getting far too impatient. Ashlyn knows that Tobin has far more training than even herself with weapons, from her time in the military.</p>
<p>“Ok, you’re right. Hold on.” Ashlyn walks around the back of the cruiser, pops the trunk, and pulls out a sawed off 12-gauge. “We normally use these for wild animals. It’s all I have.” She says, handing it over to Tobin. “Be careful Tobin, its buckshot.”</p>
<p>Tobin nods, grabbing the gun from Ashlyn. “Let’s go. Kelley, stay here with him.” She looks over, seeing the fallen officer’s gun by his hand on the ground. “Use his gun if anyone but us or Chris comes back out of these woods.”</p>
<p>Kelley nods nervously, speechless for perhaps the first time in her life. She pushes past that moment easily, “Tobin… be careful dude.”</p>
<p>Tobin looks back at Kelley, the weight of the situation fully settling on her now. If Kelley is being serious, it must be bad. She looks back to Ashlyn, nods, and they take off into the woods in the direction of the gunshot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A branch breaks, she flinches.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s close now, she can feel it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She begins to wonder if hiding was the best option, or if outrunning him would have been easier and wiser.</p>
<p>Too late now, she thinks.</p>
<p>Another branch snaps, then a gunshot sounds out.</p>
<p>“I KNOW YOU’RE OUT HERE. MAKE IT EASY ON US BOTH AND JUST COME OUT.” He yells into the infinite trees around them.</p>
<p>She closes her eyes, squeezing them shut with all her might, and continues to pray for a miracle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Watch out!” Ashlyn whisper yells, pulling Tobin back behind a tree.</p>
<p>“What the hell, dude.” Tobin whispers back, peeking around the same tree they’re now behind. There, 200 feet through the dense woods in front of them, is the man in question. Chris’ fiancé if he’s to be believed. He’s wandering around wildly, gun in hand.</p>
<p>Tobin hates him so much for so many reasons. The main one being that he’s hurt Chris.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>The woman she loves.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That thought sends Tobin spiraling for a brief moment, before his voice brings her back to the present.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ahh, there you are.” He says, in a sickeningly pleased voice.</p>
<p>Tobin hears muffled screams from who she knows to be Chris, as he pulls her out of a cluster of logs. Leaning her head back against the tree, Tobin takes a moment to pray.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Praying for the safety first and foremost of the woman being held hostage practically.</p>
<p>Praying for the safety of herself and Ashlyn.</p>
<p>Praying for the least violent outcome possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She opens her eyes and looks over at Ashlyn, who’s surveying the scene from behind the tree next to her, “Options?”</p>
<p>“Direct approach, you approach from the side?” Ashlyn whispers, pointing to a position that could easily be used as a flank on their left.</p>
<p>“Ash, let me face him head on. He already knows me.”</p>
<p>“And that means he’s already pissed off at you.” Ashlyn retorts, and Tobin knows she’s right. He’s already shot her once; Tobin is confident he’d likely shoot her on the spot if he saw her.</p>
<p>“Ok. You’re right.” She gives in, knowing she could convince Ashlyn if she wanted to, but fully believing Ash might actually have a chance at talking him down, where Tobin definitely does not. She’s physically weak from the shot to her shoulder, and he’s hyped up on alcohol. He certainly has the advantage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Especially if he has any idea just how close she is with his fiancé.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ash, be careful. Ali will kill me if something happens to you.” Tobin says, clasping hands with one of her closest friends.</p>
<p>“Hey, you too. Don’t do anything stupid. We’ll get her back.” Ashlyn says, pulling Tobin into a quick hug. “Oh, and by the way, I may say some strange things to him if I think I can get through to him. Don’t read into it.”</p>
<p>Tobin nods and takes off in the direction of the flanking position she’s going to take, shotgun in hand, as Ashlyn comes out from around the tree and begins to approach the off the hinge man.</p>
<p>“Hey, over here!” Ashlyn yells as she gets closer. She can see that the man has Chris by her arm, dragging her across the ground. He looks up, seeing Ashlyn, and promptly pulls his weapon back up and points it at her.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” he asks, eyeing Ashlyn’s uniform polo. He can see that she’s police, though she’s not in a full patrol uniform.</p>
<p>“I uh, was going to see if you needed any help here.” She says, pointing to her badge, “Detective Harris, I’m with the Barview Police Department.” She continues towards them, noticing Chris’ down crest face. ‘<em>She really thinks I’m offering to help him</em>’ she thinks to herself. “We got your bulletin out on her only just the other day. It took us a little bit to put the pieces together, but we were about to bring her in when you came and got her.” Ashlyn lies her ass off like her life depends on it. And it does, hers and Chris’. She just needs Tobin in the flank position to have the advantage.</p>
<p>“Ahhh. Yeah, no. I’m good.” He says, eyeing her carefully. Ashlyn has her weapon holstered to appear as little a threat to him as possible. “She’s not too much trouble. She shot that police officer back at the road, then ran out here, so just had to come get her. She also shot that butch woman back in your town. Assuming you found her.”</p>
<p>As he continues on, Ashlyn can see Tobin coming into the side and sliding behind a tree. She’s furious at the way he is arrogantly blaming the shootings on Chris. “Sorry I had to run out on it, I was getting ready to call it in to you guys. She’s a handful sometimes, ya know?” He laughs, yanking Chris’ arm. She lets out a yelp, and Ashlyn knows Tobin is probably close to bursting from around the tree right now.</p>
<p>“So, she shot the cop back at the road?” Ashlyn asks, already knowing the answer. Chris looks up from the ground, making eye contact with Ashlyn and pleading with her to know the truth.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah. He pulled us over, she grabbed my gun, and POP. Shot him right in the chest.” He says.</p>
<p>“And she shot the woman back in Barview?” Ashlyn asks again, eyes trained on his now, formulating a plot in her mind.</p>
<p>“Yep. Not sure where she got the gun for that one. I just came up on that scene after it happened.” He says.</p>
<p>“Well, if that’s the case, I’m afraid we’ll have to take her back to Barview to be properly booked and processed. You’ll have to get the paperwork to have her relocated back to L.A., since she’s only wanted on suspicion there. You’ve just stated she’s flat out murdered two up here, so she’ll need to stay here for now.” Ashlyn’s close enough now that she reaches forward as she finishes, as if she’s going to take Chris from him.</p>
<p>Chris’ face looks shocked at Ashlyn, and for what specifically, Ashlyn couldn’t say. There are so many options. Ashlyn just said she’s a murderer, however neither of those shot is dead. Ashlyn is also clearly trying to keep her in Barview, so she’s sure Chris is trying to figure out if Ashlyn believes him or not.</p>
<p>He pulls back from Ashlyn backing a step away, with a questioning look on his face. “Ahhh, no. That’s uh. No, that won’t work.” He says, his mind racing with a solution. “The suspicion charge has been upgraded to an actual murder charge, based upon new evidence. She was wanted their first. She has to go back to L.A.”</p>
<p>Ashlyn can’t believe the lengths this man is going to right now to keep Chris in his grasp. Accusing his own fiancé of murder, multiple times just to take her back to his home and possibly kill her himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s had enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She draws her weapon and points it directly at him, taking advantage of the moment he looks away from her and down at Chris while he’s talking.</p>
<p>“Detective… what are you doing?” he asks, his own weapon being pointed at her now.</p>
<p>“You’re lying, Detective. We have solid witness testimony that Chris didn’t shoot Tobin. You did.” Ashlyn says, slipping easily into her former Portland PD persona that she hasn’t needed in a while.</p>
<p>“From who?” he rages.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“From me.” Tobin says, coming out from behind the tree, shotgun raised and trained on the man.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tobin!” Chris says, looking up and seeing the woman she thought for sure was dead. A brief moment of hope flashes before her eyes before pain takes its place, as he is ripping her arm to pull her up and behind him. He moves the gun from being trained on Ashlyn to going back and forth between the two of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>At least he’s not using her as a human shield, Tobin thinks.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“There’s no way out of this Detective Stryer. We know you created the bulletin, and that there are no real warrants or inquiries out on Christen. We know you’re currently suspended by the LAPD.” A pause, and then, “We also know you just want your fiancé back, but that’s not going to happen if you hurt anyone else.” Ashlyn states, clearly attempting to calm the raging man down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>There’s no way in hell he’s getting her back at all, Tobin thinks.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“I just wanted her back. That’s all I ever wanted was to get her back.” He pleads. Tobin can’t even begin to imagine how much there really is going on here. The twisted lies he spins, the way he switched from maniacal, to desperate and pleading so easily; he’s a psychotic master manipulator.</p>
<p>“Put the gun down, Detective. And we can talk about all of this calmly.” Ashlyn pleads, keeping her own weapon trained on him.</p>
<p>“You.” He states, turning the gun back to Tobin. “This is your fault.”</p>
<p>“No, Detective Stryer, listen to me. Put the gun down. You don’t want to hurt anyone else.”</p>
<p>“She took everything from me!!” he screams, finger moving toward the trigger, eyes darting back to Ashlyn, as if to try to get permission for committing another obscene act.</p>
<p>With the shotgun, Tobin can’t take a shot; the risk of hitting Chris is far too great. So, truthfully, she has a really big useless prop in her hands. She wishes greatly she would have traded weapons with Ashlyn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unless…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin considers her options, weighing a full-on attack on the man while he’s distracted. He could shoot her again; he could shoot Ashlyn or Chris.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chris.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s cowering behind him, terrified of what he might do next; trying to make herself as small as possible in the event of a shootout.</p>
<p>Tobin looks to Ashlyn to try and figure out what her plan in this could possibly be.</p>
<p>“Detective, listen to me. I know you’re angry, I would be too. But shooting anyone else won’t make this better.” She says, lowering her gun slightly to try to appeal to the angry man. “This isn’t your fault, but it will be if you make it worse.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To her credit, Ashlyn tried her best. She really did. And Tobin would tell anyone who will listen that she did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the man was not reachable. Completely delusional, and an absolute danger to society. He lifts the gun, pointing it back at Tobin and fires another shot. Tobin sees his intent right before he fires and manages to move halfway behind a close tree. This combined with the inebriated state of the detective and the farther shot than before, cause him to miss Tobin completely this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ashlyn, however, doesn’t miss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen had pushed him away from her, right before Ashlyn had fired her gun.</p>
<p>She had fired, and all three shots had hit center mass.</p>
<p>Tobin and Ashlyn immediately converge, Ashlyn to get the gun out of his hand and check for more weapons, Tobin to get to Chris</p>
<p>Chris, who had initially bolted away from him after the shots, is now sitting on the ground next to him, stunned into a state of shock.</p>
<p>When Tobin gets to her, gently turning her shoulder, she sees the tears in her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tears surely for the man Tobin supposes he used to be.</p>
<p>Tears for the freedom she surely feels guilty for feeling because he’s gone.</p>
<p>Tears for the safety she has now that he is gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chris, look at me baby. Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” Tobin asks, gently placing her hand on Chris’ cheek.</p>
<p>Chris doesn’t say anything, simply looking at Tobin in disbelief, grasping onto her shirt. She stares at her for about 10 seconds before her eyes close and she passes out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen opens her eyes to a dimly lit hospital room. A glance at the window tells her that its dark out, the light in the room coming from the TV on the wall, the sound from it muted. It takes her a few moments to process what exactly had brought her to this here, but as it all comes rushing back to her, she bolts up in the hospital bed, desperately looking around.</p>
<p>“Chris? Hey, it’s ok. You’re ok.” She looks over to see Ali sitting beside her bed, a comforting smile on her face, reaching her hand out to softly touch Christen’s arm.</p>
<p>“Ali? What… what’s going on? How did I get here? Where’s Tobin?” she asks rapid fire questions, still confused as to what is going on.</p>
<p>“You’re safe. You passed out in the woods; Ashlyn and Tobin brought you back here. You’ve been out for a couple of hours.” Ali explains in a calming manner. “The doctors finally came in and pulled Tobin out to get her shoulder looked at. She had been by your side since you all got here.”</p>
<p>Christen nods, the full events of the day coming back to her. She looks at the clock on the wall to see that it’s 2 o’clock in the morning. “What ahh… what are you doing here?” Christen asks, cringing at the way it sounds. It’s not that she doesn’t want Ali here… she just isn’t sure <em>why</em> she’s here.</p>
<p>But Ali just smiles, “Ashlyn had to head to the station, there’s a lot of paperwork that has to be filled out and reports to complete. With Tobin being pulled away and possibly needing to be admitted, Ash called me. She figured it would be good to have a familiar face for you to wake up to.”</p>
<p>Christen just smiles, still not really sure of what all is happening. But she’s grateful. “Tobin’s ok?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. She’s going to be fine. We’ll catch you fully up to speed when you’re rested, ok? You’ve had a pretty eventful day. Why don’t you get some sleep? I promise, one of us will be here when you wake up.” Ali says, crossing her heart like kids do in elementary school. “Hey, you’re safe, ok? I promise. You’re safe.”</p>
<p>Christen just nods, a small smile on her face, as she feels the overwhelming exhaustion pull her back under.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s several hours later, early morning, when Christen awakens again. This time, she awakens knowing exactly what had happened, and dreading what it all means for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Will she go to prison?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Will they believe her story?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What will Tobin say?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman who had risked her own life for Christen, not even knowing the truth about her.</p>
<p>She gently sits up, shifting to (dramatically) put her head in her hands as all of the thoughts and questions plague her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chris?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her head bolts up at the voice, turning rapidly to see Tobin sitting in the chair where Ali had been the night before.</p>
<p>“Tobin? You’re here. You’re ok.” Christen says, reaching her hand out for Tobin, but promptly pulling it back. She’s completely unsure of where they stand, her having lied to Tobin for the entirety of their friendship and short-lived relationship.</p>
<p>Before she can pull it back though, Tobin is grabbing her hand, interlocking their fingers together. “I’m good. I’m ok.” She says, even though Christen sees the sling her right arm is in.</p>
<p>“Your shoulder?” she asks, not knowing if she really wants to know, but feeling that she has to ask.</p>
<p>“Ah, yeah. It’s ok. Doctor says I have to wear this for a few weeks. It wasn’t bad.” Tobin says, shrugging in her chill way. “How are you feeling? You’ve been in and out for a while now. The doctors say you’re in shock.”</p>
<p>Blowing out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, “I feel… ok. Better than before. I guess I just… have a lot of questions.” Christen answers truthfully.</p>
<p>“Ok… I can handle questions. If maybe, you can handle some of my questions?” Tobin asks hesitantly.</p>
<p>Christen knew this day would come, and she had been actively dreading it for as long as she had known Tobin. This was both the best and worst thing that could happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Tobin deserves the truth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah. Of course. You deserve that…” She pauses, “go ahead.” Christen says, eyes not leaving Tobin’s.</p>
<p>“Ok… question one, do you prefer ‘Christen’ or ‘Chris’ because honestly, I love them both and I’m having a hard time deciding which to call you, so I figured I’d ask.” She says grinning at Christen, as she rubs her hands with her own.</p>
<p>Christen stares at Tobin for a moment. “Ahh, I, umm…” she pauses, “Sorry, that’s not the kind of questions I was expecting.” She says, with a disbelieving laugh. “Christen is my name. My mom, she called me Chris, so I guess that’s just what I went with. But to answer your question, both? Either? I guess…” she trails off, unsure of where the rest of these questions were going. She doesn’t want to sit in anticipation, so, she decides to ask. “Tobin, don’t you have more important things to be asking me right now?”</p>
<p>“Your name is very important to me, Chris.” Tobin states factually.</p>
<p>“I know, but I—”</p>
<p>“Christen, baby, we know. We know who he was, we know that you ran. We know why. And while I want you to feel comfortable telling me everything that you want to about your story and how you got here, I would never force you to. I want you to do that when you’re ready to.”</p>
<p>And that, well. That was not an answer she was expecting. “Okay… I guess, next question then?”</p>
<p>“Ok… Question two, and this is probably my only other question…” Tobin pauses, playing with Christen’s fingers in her own. She looks up to her, making eye contact with Christen, “Was ahh… was… was it real? Was what we had… what we have, hopefully… real?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen knows what Tobin means by this one. Is the person she has been the past several months the real her, or did she create a whole new person by coming here. The stories she told Tobin, the truths about herself, were they real or a lie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tobin, I’ve never been more myself than when I’m with you.”</p>
<p>Tobin lets out a breath and sighs, happily, “Ok then, that’s all I need to know.” She smiles, hand still clasped firmly around Christen’s.</p>
<p>“So, you’re not mad at me?” Christen asks, hesitantly staring back into the eyes that have yet to fail her.</p>
<p>Tobin pauses for a moment, almost confused.</p>
<p>“Absolutely not. If anything, I’m even more in love with you than I was before.” Tobin says, and she doesn’t back down, despite her revelation to Christen.</p>
<p>“You’re in love with me?” Christen asks, stunned, and maybe just a little bit on cloud 9 at how the conversation had turned.</p>
<p>Tobin’s small smile grows, “More than anything. And I don’t want you to say anything, because this has been a traumatic experience for you. But…” she says, pausing to formulate her thoughts, “I want you to know how I feel, so that should the time come that you also feel that way, well, you’ll already know.” Tobin pushes out, slightly rambling like she does when she’s nervous.</p>
<p>“Ok.” Christen says, a small smile on her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok?” Tobin asks, a bigger smile forming on her face, just wanting to confirm with her that it really is ok.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah… ok.”  </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Tell Me You're Alright, Tell Me You're Ok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>“Ok, Christen. Start from the beginning for me, starting with your name. Give us as many details as you can, ok?” Ashlyn asks gently, toggling the recorder on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its 3 days later, after she had been released from the hospital the first day and had spent the following two at home, alone. The hospital had put her in touch with a therapist that she had gone to the following day; regular appointments would be her future for the time being. And truthfully, she doesn’t mind. Thankful, even.</p>
<p>She’s ready to do what it takes to put this behind her.</p>
<p>She hadn’t seen Katie in that time, which left her confused as to where the mysterious woman could be.</p>
<p>How did she know who Bryan was, when Christen had never told her? It’s the question Christen is dying to have answered but will have to wait until she sees Katie again.</p>
<p>Tobin had asked her to stay at her house, or to let her be with her, but Christen had requested the solitude.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“I need a few days to myself to process this. And Kendall needs some time with you to herself.” She had said with a smile, standing on her porch after Tobin had dropped her off.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You’ll call me if you need absolutely anything, right?</em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, of course I will.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt better today than she had the past three days combined. Weights slowly but surely being lifted off of her shoulders.</p>
<p>She’s at the police station in Barview, having been requested by Ashlyn to come in and give an official statement when she was ready. The small interrogation room that they’re in is dark and dingy, just as Christen imagined it would be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s a little overwhelming, and terrifying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My name is Christen Press; I’m from Los Angeles. My parents were Cody and Stacy Press. They passed away when I was in college.” She pauses, clearing her throat. “I graduated from Stanford University with a degree in Marketing and worked at Eclipse Marketing for several years after graduating. I was engaged to Bryan Stryer for 2 years, we had been dating since college… Umm…” she looks down at the hand held in her own, fingers interlocked, and back up to the face of the person to whom it belongs, gaining strength. “He… uh… he began hitting me right after we got engaged.”</p>
<p>At that, Tobin’s hand tightened in her own. She didn’t have to be here, wasn’t planning on it. But Christen had asked her to, had wanted her strength while she recounts all of the details to Ashlyn and the LAPD Detective who had made the trip up.</p>
<p>“It was small, at first. Just… Just light slaps, I guess. But…. He got ahh, he got demoted at work. Or… passed up for promotion? Something. And that’s when the heavy drinking started. And the more he drank…. The worse it got.” She stated, looking back down again at the hands in her lap, tightening onto it as she pauses to compose herself.</p>
<p>“Ok, so you decided to leave him?” Ashlyn prods the conversation.</p>
<p>“Ah, yeah. I had tried before, but he cut me off from all of my family and friends. Like I said, my parents died when I was younger, so there weren’t a whole lot of options for me to reach out to in the first place…” she trails off, resurging to attempt to finish as much of the story as she can, “I felt trapped and out of ideas. So, I did the only thing I knew to do.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You ran.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not a question, it’s a statement.</p>
<p>Ashlyn had already told Christen what Tobin’s suspicions had been and how they had come to the conclusion that she needed help.</p>
<p>She nods, “Yes. I ran. I gave him sleeping pills without him knowing, packed up anything I could take on a bus, left my phone and IDs and I ran. To here.” Christen pushes through what she hopes to be the last of the story that she has to tell.</p>
<p>Ashlyn sits back in her chair, a look of understanding and hurt on her face. Christen looks to the other detective from Los Angeles, and notices his face shows the same. He picks up where she leaves off to finish the story to this point.</p>
<p>“So then, Bryan Stryer illegally used his position with the department to access traffic cameras, missing person bulletins, homicide bulletins, and social media accounts to track you to here.” The man states matter-of-factly, “He then came here, shot Miss Heath, kidnapped you against your will, drove under the influence, shot a police officer in another town, and attempted to shoot and kill both Detective Harris and Miss Heath.”</p>
<p>And when you put it all together like that, it sounds really bad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Christen figures, maybe someone now finally realizes with her just how bad it is.</p>
<p>Or, was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Detective, a word?” the officer says, rising from the table they’re at. Ashlyn turns off the recorder, stepping away to have a conversation in private with the man.</p>
<p>“They’re going to put me in jail.” Christen says, pulling away from Tobin, unable to be around her warmth and comfort when she feels this way.</p>
<p>“Hey, no. No, they’re not. I’m sure they’re just discussing the finalizing of all of the paperwork. The whole thing spanned 3 different police departments. I’m sure its complex.” Tobin pulls, keeping Christen from being able to tuck herself away. “Hey” she says, turning Christen’s head to her with her hand, “I promise you, everything will be ok. I will literally fight for you if I have to.” She jokes, pulling her left back to throw a fake jab. She smiles, lifting the hand up to cup Christen’s face.</p>
<p>Christen can only smile, leaning into the touch, relying on Tobin’s optimism.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, Christen, you’re free to go.”</p>
<p>She turns from Tobin, a look of shock on her face.</p>
<p>“Sorry, what?”</p>
<p>That can’t be right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“All we needed was your official statement. Per regulation, Detective Stryer had a will, in which he left a decent portion of his belongings to you. A lawyer will be in touch soon.” The detective from LA says, “Detective Harris, I’ll be in touch with any further questions.” And with that, he leaves the room.</p>
<p>“But… but I— “</p>
<p>“You did absolutely nothing wrong, Chris.” Ashlyn states. “His death is ruled in self-defense, the others he shot are ok, obviously.” She says, gesturing to Tobin. “And everything that you did prior to was either completely legal, or self-defense. Aside from the fake ID that both Detective James and I are completely ignoring.” She finishes with a grin and a wink.</p>
<p>“I’m… I’m free?”</p>
<p>“You’re free, Christen Press. To do whatever you want to do. As you.” Ashlyn says, laughing lightly with her.</p>
<p>In that moment, it feels as if she can breathe for the first time in a very long time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No more hiding.</p>
<p>No more running.</p>
<p>No more lying.</p>
<p>She can be herself, wherever she wants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, Christen Press, what are you going to do now with this freedom?” Tobin asks, standing and pulling her into her chest for a hug.</p>
<p>She looks up into Tobin’s eyes and only one thing comes to mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think…. I think I’m going to move to Oregon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, that’s the last of it.” Tobin says, setting down the last box in Christen’s new apartment.</p>
<p>“The truck is officially empty, and you are officially a resident of Barview, Oregon.” She says, smiling her best charming smile, after a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>“I mean, I’ve lived here for 6 months Tobin, does none of that count?” Christen teases back at her, laughing as she pulls the glasses from a different box out onto the counter.</p>
<p>“Ok… you know what I mean.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s been 3 weeks since the day Christen’s past caught up with her and everything changed. If you had told her at that time that everything changing would be for the best, she’d have laughed at you.</p>
<p>Full on, outright laughed.</p>
<p>But, life has a way of working itself out.</p>
<p>She regained access to her bank accounts, and with discussions ongoing with lawyers regarding Bryan’s will, promptly moved her furniture and belongings up to Barview from L.A. The house she shared with him, up for sale. The life she lived there, left behind. But not after making contact with her few friends and family to ensure that she is doing well, and to recount to them a simplified version of what had happened.</p>
<p>It was both an easy and difficult decision to move out of the one-room house, and into a more comfortable apartment on the other side of town. With her relationship with Tobin continuing to progress, she wanted to have space for not only her, but more importantly Kendall. She wanted to be able to help Tobin and watch Kendall when she had opportunities to, so the move made sense.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also, Tobin really didn’t like her living all the way out there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knew Tobin wanted her to simply move into her house. And she’d be lying if she said that she didn’t want that as well.</p>
<p>But there was a silent agreement between the two that this was for the best for both of them, and Kendall. She needed time to adjust to life as herself, and that would likely often include some time spent on her own. She also pointed out that Kendall needed her own space while they continue to date, because even though Chris is her absolute favorite person, it’s still an adjustment for her.</p>
<p>However, the apartment she has may be a short 5-minute walk to Tobin’s house. Maybe she picked it solely for that reason.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had run into Katie on her final trip out to the house.</p>
<p>She was alone this time; Tobin having been with her the other time she had come out to deep clean the house, so Ashlyn’s grandparents could relist it for rent.</p>
<p>“Hey you. Long time, no see.” Katie calls to her as she loads a bag of clothes into Tobin’s Jeep that she borrowed. She walks down the steps of her porch, over to the space between their homes.</p>
<p>“Katie! Hey!” Christen calls to her first friend, surprised to see her.</p>
<p>She had thought long and hard about their small interaction the day of the incident, and she had begun to wonder if she had imagined it. She hadn’t seen Katie since then, granted she’d spent most of her time with Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman had been attached to her hip through the entire process of dealing with the police, then the lawyers. Christen found it incredibly endearing.</p>
<p>“All packed up and heading out?” Katie asks, as she comes closer to Christen, smiling.</p>
<p>“Ah, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t tell you sooner. I guess I’ve just been really busy lately. I’m moving across town.” Christen says, closing the back gate of the Jeep. “Not that I don’t love it out here.” She continues, laughing lightly. Everyone knows this is the rougher side of the town. “I’m going to miss you, neighbor.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure you’ll miss the constant wonder of if there’s a racoon or squirrel under the floors of your house.” Katie says, causing both women to burst in laughter. Noises from small animals were a common nightly occurrence. “Hey, it’s been great being your neighbor… but I get it. There are certainly nicer places to live in Barview.” She smiles, continuing, “And maybe those nicer places are just a little bit closer to a certain General Store owner…?”</p>
<p>At that, Christen blushes as they both begin to laugh again. “Yeah, well. I’m not even going to try to deny that one.” Christen says.</p>
<p>They stand there in a moment of comfortable silence before Katie speaks up as she turns to walk away, “Take care of her… Tobin. Take care of both of them.” She says. “They can be a handful, but they deserve someone like you around. And you deserve them too.”</p>
<p>Christen doesn’t have words to follow that, having never had the opportunity to ask either Katie or Tobin what their relationship to each other is or was. Clearly, Katie knows about both Tobin and Kendall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, yeah. They uh... they mean the world to me. I’m just thankful to get to be in their lives.” Christen says.</p>
<p>Katie just smiles, backing away. “Bye Christen.”</p>
<p>“See ya, Katie.”</p>
<p>Christen turns, heading to jump into the Jeep and take off back to where the two in question are waiting for her at her new apartment. She thinks for a moment and decides she can’t leave without scheduling a time to meet up for coffee with Katie in the future.</p>
<p>“Hey, Katie!” she says, turning back around and coming to the back of the Jeep.</p>
<p>But no one is there.</p>
<p>She looks to the house next to her own, and suddenly it’s as if the life in the house is gone. No lights, much more run down than she remembers.</p>
<p>Katie, nowhere to be found.</p>
<p>She’s beyond confused, but feels she’ll find no answers here anymore. With one final look at the house that she’s called home until now, she hops in the Jeep and heads off to her future.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Happy Birthdayyy to youuuu!!!!”</p>
<p>Kendall blows out the six birthday candles as the whole Family Crew finishes singing to her.</p>
<p>“Ok, bud, what’d you wish for?” Tobin asks, leaning down to her head and poking at her side.</p>
<p>“Toby! I can’t tell you or it won’t come true!” Kendall says, eyes trained specifically on the cake that her Aunt Alex was getting ready to cut.</p>
<p>“Ok, ok, are you sure though?”</p>
<p>“Tobin, leave her alone.” Christen smiles and laughs as she pulls Tobin away from the little girl, who just wanted her piece of cake with ice cream.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Tuesday night at Tobin’s house, and this Family Dinner was dedicated solely to Kendall to celebrate her birthday. Her party had been canceled a few weeks before, with everything that had been going on. When Tobin asked if she wanted to reschedule it, she simply said, “Nah, can we just have cake at Family Dinner this week?”</p>
<p>So, Family Dinner became Kendall’s birthday party, and Christen felt like it was the best way to celebrate the little girl.</p>
<p>Christen had been at their house all day getting ready for the party, decorating and helping Tobin wrap presents for Kendall. It was only the third time the two had gotten any real alone time together recently, so they hurried through all of the things they needed to do, and then promptly spent the rest of the afternoon together, in the bedroom.</p>
<p>If they were confident of their relationship before, going through this experience has only solidified what they already knew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re in this for the long run.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The party was spent eating pizza, cake and ice cream, and all the other requests made by Kendall for the evening. Presents were opened; Kendall (and Tobin) was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love on the little girl.</p>
<p>It’s several hours later, after everyone had cleaned up and gone home, that Tobin is dealing with a tipsy Kelley.</p>
<p>“Hey, Chris?” Tobin calls to her from down the hall. She’s in the kitchen, drying the last of the cups they’d used.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“I gotta run and take Kelley home. She definitely had more to drink tonight than she thinks.” Tobin says, walking into the kitchen, Kelley following her.</p>
<p>“Oh O’Hara, what are we going to do with you.” Chris says smiling, placing the towel she was using down on the counter.</p>
<p>“If you’d asked me that 6 months ago, I’d have said ‘hopefully bang’ but Toby got there first, so.” Kelley says, bursting in laughter at her own joke.</p>
<p>Tobin, however, is not impressed. She pushes Kelley toward the door, “Ya know, I’d blame that on her intoxicated state, but I’m really not sure that she wouldn’t say that sober.”</p>
<p>Christen can only laugh, “Oh, she so would.”</p>
<p>It’s a few moments later that Tobin is popping her head around the corner of the door, “Hey, by the way. Kendall is ready for bed, so if you can just go in there and tuck her in, I’ll make sure she’s sleeping when I get back. I’m not sure how long it will take me to get Kelley in her own home.” She says, rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>“Ahh, yeah. I can handle that.” Christen says, almost nervously. She had never been on tuck-in duty.</p>
<p>Tobin comes over to her, sensing her nerves, “Thank you, Baby. I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you, too.” Christen says.</p>
<p>It was only the third time she had said it, the first was a few days after things had settled down, when the two of them were alone. And every time, it kept feeling even better to say it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It felt freeing, loving and being loved by Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Tobin says, giving her a quick kiss, and walking back out the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gains up all of her courage, walking through the house, heading to check in on Kendall and make sure she’s ready and getting into bed. She walks through the door to the room and sees Kendall already lying in bed, holding what appears to be a picture frame in her hand. As she stands in the doorway for a moment, watching the little girl, Kendall reaches out her hand towards her.</p>
<p>“I want you to be a part of the bedtime routine too, ok?” Kendall says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. To her, it is.</p>
<p>She’ll make it simple, she figures. If it’s what Kendall wants, they’ll make it whatever they need to.</p>
<p>“Ok Cutie, of course I will.” Is all she can manage to get out at the moment.</p>
<p>“We always list the things we’re thankful for, then we say a prayer, then we say goodnight to mommy and daddy.” Kendall says, pointing to the picture frame in her hands. “See, this is my mommy and daddy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen is smiling at Kendall as she looks down at the frame in Kendall’s hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Wait</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It can’t be.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“This is your mommy?"</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s what I said! And that’s daddy next to her. And that’s me!” Kendall says, emphatically like she doesn’t understand why Chris doesn’t understand.</p>
<p>The thing is, she doesn’t understand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because the picture now in her hands is a picture of Kendall’s parents.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And there, in the frame, is Katie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes everything in her not to show externally that internally, she’s freaking out. But she refrains, because the little girl in front of her doesn’t need to see a grown woman have a mental breakdown over a picture of her parents.</p>
<p>Kendall takes the picture back from Christen, oblivious to her dumbfound facial expression. They finish the bedtime routine, Christen getting to give Kendall a small hug and a kiss on the forehead, promising to send Tobin in to say goodnight when she comes back.</p>
<p>As she leaves the room, pulling the door to a crack, her mind is racing to explain the picture in Kendall’s hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Katie.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Christen’s mind flashes back to every interaction that she had with her over the course of the 6 months she’d known her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had been alone every time.</p>
<p>She had been at her house, almost every time. Had never gone inside Katie’s house.</p>
<p>She was always gone at night.</p>
<p>Katie had warned her about Bryan. How could she have even known?</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“I’m going crazy.” She thinks.</p>
<p>She begins looking around, knowing Tobin had said there were picture books in the house somewhere.</p>
<p>And that’s exactly where Tobin finds her not much later, sitting on the couch, pictures spread out in front of her on the coffee table.</p>
<p>“Uhhh, babe, you ok?” Tobin asks, walking into the room from the kitchen.</p>
<p>It startles Christen, her having not heard Tobin come into the room. “Ahh, no. Well, yes. But… no. I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Ok… that’s ok.” Tobin says, sitting down next to her, “Can I ask what you’re looking for?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not for. At.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I ask what you’re looking… at?”</p>
<p>Christen grabs the picture she’s been staring at for 10 minutes. The picture of Tobin and her sister, with Kendall in-between them, at the zoo.</p>
<p>“Me, Ken, and Katie at the zoo?”</p>
<p>Christen just sighs, falling back into the couch. “Tobin, I’m going crazy.”</p>
<p>Tobin has absolutely no idea what’s happening, but to her credit, she just rolls with it. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”</p>
<p>“Promise you won’t laugh at me?”</p>
<p>“Baby, of course. If this is serious, I’ll take it seriously.” Tobin says, reaching over and grabbing Christen’s hand in her lap.</p>
<p>“Ok.” Christen sighs, sitting back up, determined. “You know the house next to my old one?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, the other rental Ash’s grandparents have?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Does anyone live there right now?”</p>
<p>“Ahh, no. Not that I know of. It’s been empty since before you moved in.”</p>
<p>Christen just stares down and nods.</p>
<p>“What I’m going to say next sounds crazy, Tobin. I can’t explain it.” She says, looking back to the picture, then to Tobin. “I’ve met Katie.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I met Katie. Was friends with Katie. She was… here. In that other house.” She pauses for a moment, looking back to Tobin. “She would always come talk to me, whenever I was lonely. She talked to me about you, about being safe. She warned me the day Bryan showed up… I think it’s clear now that I was hallucinating or something but I…. Tobin, it was Katie.”</p>
<p>Tobin just looks back and forth between the picture and Christen for several moments. Then, a smile begins for form on her face.</p>
<p>“Ya know, she always said she’d ‘haunt my ass’ if anything ever happened to her. I guess she meant it.” Tobin laughs, looking back to the picture.</p>
<p>“You don’t…. you don’t think I’m crazy?” Christen asks.</p>
<p>She sighs, “No… I don’t. I think Katie was looking out for you, Chris. And I think you were always meant to be here with me, and Kendall. And Katie was just… helping you along the way.” Tobin says, pulling Christen into her side.</p>
<p>They sit like that for a few moments, content to just be in each other’s arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know what this means, right?” Christen asks, leaning back to make eye contact.</p>
<p>“What?” Tobin asks, looking down at Christen.</p>
<p>“We can now also credit Katie for getting us here.” She laughs as she says it.</p>
<p>It’s true, they credit a lot of things for getting them to this place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The running incident.</p>
<p>The bike.</p>
<p>Tuesday Family Dinners.</p>
<p>A trashed house.</p>
<p>Sunday Beach Day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Tobin draws the line, “Ahhh hell no, I am not giving my sister credit for this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen bursts into laughter, smiling at Tobin, who almost looks upset at the thought of it.</p>
<p>“Ok, well then pick one thing that you’re crediting with getting us here, because I can’t keep up with what we’re saying.”</p>
<p>Tobin ponders for a moment, tapping her finger on her chin, before getting very serious and looking back at Christen in her arms.</p>
<p>“How about all of them?”</p>
<p>“All of them?” Christen asks, almost confused. “That’s a lot to say.”</p>
<p>“I can condense it for you.” Tobin says, smirking.</p>
<p>Christen just raises an eyebrow, waiting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fate.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Epilogue - Stay With Me, My Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s the best feeling in the world to her now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She feels it in her bones, in her lungs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It reminds her that she’s home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She never thought she’d find a real home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But here, in this town, with these people?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yeah, that’s home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s thinking about the sun and home when suddenly, sand is flying up all over her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey!” she sits up from her spot, laying out on a beach towel, to see Tobin and Kendall pointing at each other, a soccer ball to her side the likely source of the sand all over her.</p>
<p>She laughs at the two of them opting to join them instead of berating them. She stands, grabbing the ball and kicking it back over to where they are.</p>
<p>She remembers when she had told Tobin that she played soccer for Stanford, not a community college, and that they played against each other.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You played where?! We WHAT?!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>They had both been shocked to find that there’s actually a picture of the two of them on a pitch, in a one-on-one possession battle.</p>
<p>What a small world.</p>
<p>It’s been a year since they met, a year since Christen moved to Oregon and her life changed forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And life, is good.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Life with Tobin… it’s the best.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They continued to learn something new about each other every day, which is insane, considering the time they spend together. Sunday Beach Day is still everyone’s favorite day.</p>
<p>Small things have changed, like Christen no longer is a waitress at Shortie’s, instead doing independent marketing consulting for the restaurant, and many other businesses in town. She finally has the opportunity to do what she loves, in a setting that she loves. When Megan had found out that she had a degree and extensive experience her exact words were, <em>“Why the hell are you waiting tables? Come with me to the office.” </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, yeah. Life is good.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s thinking about how good it is as they’re loading everything into the Jeep, when Tobin breaks her thought bubble.</p>
<p>“So, I need to tell you something.” She says, eyes flickering back and forth between Christen and the ground.</p>
<p>“Ok… is it bad?” Christen just smiles while asking, knowing it can’t possibly be something bad.</p>
<p>There really isn’t a “bad” in her life anymore.</p>
<p>“Ahhh… no? Maybe? I’m not really sure.” Tobin says, glancing up at Kendall, who was immersed in her own world, watching Frozen.</p>
<p>Christen just looks puzzled by Tobin’s frazzled state, “Babe, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal.”</p>
<p>“My mom is coming to visit.” Tobin blurts out, almost cutting Christen off.</p>
<p>“Your mom? Is coming here?”</p>
<p>Ok, maybe it is a big deal.</p>
<p>Tobin just looks up, making eye contact with Christen. They stare at each other for a few moments, before they both begin to giggle – which turns into a full laugh.</p>
<p>It takes a several minutes before they’ve stopped laughing enough to resume the conversation.</p>
<p>“We got this, right?” Tobin says, after she manages to calm down some, still grinning like an idiot, clasping Christen’s hand in her own.</p>
<p>“Yeah… we got this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, I’m back!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin walks into the dark house, tossing her keys onto the counter and toeing off her shoes next to the door. She walks around through the kitchen, into the living room, where a small lamp lights up the only occupant in the room, the other surely having been in bed for a few hours now.</p>
<p>“Hey you. Everything go ok?” Christen says, looking up from her place on the couch where she had been reading her latest book on meditation.</p>
<p>“Yeah, traffic wasn’t too bad. She actually just texted me saying she was boarding.”</p>
<p>Tobin had just returned her mom to the airport in Portland, after her weeklong trip out to Barview. The introduction between her mom and Christen had been more than perfect, her mother already knowing the story of how they got here. Christen was more than perfect with her mother, and the two had become close almost immediately. Tobin wondered if Christen was finding a motherly relationship that she had missed since her own mother’s passing.</p>
<p>“That’s good... I’m glad you’re back.” Christen says, smiling as she reaches up for Tobin’s hands and pulls her down onto the couch, practically half on top of her.</p>
<p>“Yeah? You miss me?” Tobin asks, grinning, as she lays her head on Christen’s chest. They hadn’t had much alone time together while her mother was here, Christen spending most nights in her own apartment to give the three time together. However, that was vetoed after the first few days, as Tobin’s mother requested her presence there more often, <em>“Honey, you’re a part of this family. You better be here.”</em></p>
<p>Still, it was nice to have a moment to just the two of them.</p>
<p>“I didn’t get a chance to say this much, but thank you.” Tobin says, lifting her head to look down at Christen.</p>
<p>“Thank me? For what?”</p>
<p>“For everything, Chris. For being here with me this week. For meeting my mom and not being intimidated by it. For loving me the way you do, loving Kendall.” Tobin says, smiling down at the woman beneath her. “This week was perfect. My mom might actually love you more than she loves me.” She laughs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen can only laugh at that, “That’s not true.” She continues to smile, “It was a pretty perfect week, wasn’t it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah… it was.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kelley! You did not get a 7-year-old alcohol for Christmas!”</p>
<p>“Whoops… nope, that’s yours. I must have switched the tags.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kelley reaches over, grabbing the bottle of whiskey out of Kendall’s hands and switching it with the unopened package in Tobin’s. The rest of the family is just laughing at the ordeal, as Tobin flips Kelley upside the head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not cool, dude.”</p>
<p>It’s several hours later, the family crew having gone home, when Kendall, Tobin, and Christen are spending the last few hours of Christmas together.</p>
<p>“Did you have a good Christmas, Ken?” Christen asks, as they lounge on the couch in their matching pajamas, staring at the small fire in the fireplace, with a Mickey Christmas cartoon on the tv.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it was pretty good.” Kendall says, looking over to Tobin, who’s in the recliner watching the two, a small grin forming on her face. She winks at Kendall, nodding to her.</p>
<p>“Just pretty good?” Christen asks, turning her head to look at the little girl next to her. “Well, what could make it better?” Christen was perplexed, because she and Tobin had gotten everything the girl had asked for.</p>
<p>“There is one more thing I want.” Kendall says, crawling onto her knees, looking back to Tobin, then back to Christen.</p>
<p>“Ok… what is it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to come live with us. All the time.” Kendall says, grinning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Christen is stunned. That is not at all what she was expecting from the girl. And sure, her and Tobin had discussed it a few times, considering their reasons for her having a separate apartment are kind of moot now, and she spends all her time here anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But hearing Kendall say it? That’s different.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You… you do?” Christen needs the clarification.</p>
<p>“Yes. We’re a family. We should be together all the time.” She says, hopping up and down on her knees. “Please, Christen? Please please please.” Kendall has her hands clasped together out in front of her now, almost pleading.</p>
<p>“Ok, ok Monster.” Tobin says, grabbing the girl and pulling her back some to give Christen some space. “Let’s not overdo it, ok?”</p>
<p>She looks over to Christen, having put herself in-between the girl and the woman.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tobin… I—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Listen, I know we’ve talked about it a lot. And I know we’ve had some pretty good reasons in the past for not moving forward with it. But Baby, I can’t think of any of those reasons now.” Tobin says, reaching over and grabbing Christen’s hands in her own. “I just want to make you happy as much as I can. And I’d love to do that here, all the time. So, whenever you’re ready, just know, Ken and I are ready too.” She finishes, smiling and looking to see Kendall leaning over her shoulder, smiling too.</p>
<p>“But like, try to be ready soon, ok?”</p>
<p>“Kendall.” Tobin half-scolds, laughing with Christen at the little girl. “We promised we wouldn’t pressure her, remember.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes a moment for Tobin to realize that it wasn’t Kendall who said the “ok” in response to Tobin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Christen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah…Ok. I’m ready.” Christen is smiling larger than Tobin thinks she’s possibly ever seen.</p>
<p>“REALLY?!” Kendall screams, jumping over Tobin and onto Chris, sending her falling backward into the couch. “You’re going to come live with us and be here forever?” Kendall asks, much calmer and much more seriously all of the sudden.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah… forever sounds pretty good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ken, 5 minutes!!!”  Tobin whisper - yells down the hallway, putting a banana into the kid’s lunchbox and zipping it closed.</p>
<p>“I’m coming!!!” she hears the little voice yell.</p>
<p>It was far too early in the morning to be up for Tobin, but she’d promised the girl she’d drive her to school today before leaving to go to Portland for a day trip with Kelley.</p>
<p>“Hey, make sure she has her jacket, it’s freezing out there this morning.” Christen says, walking up behind her and grabbing the coffee pot.</p>
<p>“Hey, what are you doing up? I tried my hardest not to wake you.” Tobin says, grabbing Christen by the waist and pulling her in for a quick kiss.</p>
<p>“I love you, but you’re not good at being quiet.” Christen laughs against Tobin’s lips, before giving her another peck and stepping back to sip her coffee. “It’s ok though, I want to get in a quick run before I go to meet Megan later.”</p>
<p>“I promise I’ll get better at being quiet.” Tobin says, and Christen just laughs again, because they both know it’s not true. Aside from that, Christen is always awake before Tobin.</p>
<p>Kendall comes sleepily walking into the kitchen a moment later, leaning into Christen and hugging her side. “You’re picking me up today, right?”</p>
<p>“Yep, I’ll be at school right when you get out ok, so look for my car.” Christen says, setting her coffee cup down and hugging her girl back. “Then we can knock out your homework and get whatever you want for dinner.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sweet!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m feeling a little left out here…” Tobin says, coming over and joining in on the morning hug session.</p>
<p>“Well, don’t plan a trip to Portland without us next time.” Christen says, smirking over at Tobin, who just rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>“Oooookkkk, let’s go, Monster.” Tobin says, giving Christen one more kiss, and grabbing her bag from the counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Love you guys!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Love you!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tobin, why are we stopping at a jewelry store?” Kelley asks, as they slow their walk in front of the store.</p>
<p>“Ahhh, I just… saw something… in the window. Hold on, I just wanna take a quick look.” Tobin says, opening the door and walking inside.</p>
<p>They weren’t here for jewelry. They were actually here to meet with a construction agency as they begin remodeling plans for the store.</p>
<p>But they had decided to walk the streets while they took a break for lunch, so here they found themselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin can’t get her eyes off of the ring.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had seen it in the window when they walked past the store on the way to the building that housed their all-day meeting, then again when they walked to get lunch. Walking back, she couldn’t pass it again. She looks at it from behind, before an employee comes up behind her and she requests to hold the ring and get a better look.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tobin… are you… are you guys like… ready for this?” Kelley asks, clearly hesitant.</p>
<p>“I mean… I don’t know dude. Are you ever really like… ready?” Tobin says, looking back at the ring in her hand.</p>
<p>Its simplistic, gold in color. One almost circular stone larger in the middle, two smaller around it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s just… It’s Christen. It’s hers. Tobin knows this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, she buys it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, you’re gonna propose?” Kelley asks, as they leave the shop to head back to their meetings.</p>
<p>“No… probably not yet. It is a little soon.” Tobin says, securely placing the ring in her laptop bag. “But soon.”</p>
<p>“Ok, then why buy it today?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because… it’s hers……</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kelley O’Hara you are sworn to absolute secrecy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>___</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s a feeling she loves, a feeling she knows well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This sun, though it’s the same sun, feels different.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s not really sure why, but she has a few guesses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For one, it’s hotter. Way hotter. Island hot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That’s probably because she’s on an island.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sits up, looking over at the surfer woman coming out of the crystal-clear water, heading straight for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You done already?” she asks, smiling up at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tobin leans down to steal a kiss, effectively soaking her shoulders and face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Whoops, sorry wifee.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s been Tobin’s favorite name for her for the past 72 hours of their brand-new marriage. Tobin had proposed about 9 months ago, on the two-year anniversary of Christen moving to Barview. The two had gotten married there, in Barview, and promptly hopped on a plane to Hawaii to enjoy a week and a half of just the two of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m getting hungry, what do you say to brunch at the resort patio restaurant.” Tobin asks, toweling off, throwing on her sunglasses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ooo, yes. I’d kill for some pancakes right now.” Christen says, standing and grabbing her towel and bag.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well then I guess I’d better feed you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>If Christen thought life with Tobin was incomparable before, well. Married life with Tobin, though she’s only been experiencing it for less than a week, is the greatest thing to ever exist.</p>
<p>If she thought the two were in tune with each other before, if she thought Tobin knew her and knew her needs before, well she was totally wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s never been so happy to be wrong before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She factually knew that being married to Tobin would be the most amazing experience she’ll ever have. Tobin has waited on her, hand and foot, for the entirety of their relationship. Really, since before there even was a relationship. Factually speaking, she knew life with Tobin would be amazing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But knowing and experiencing?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two different things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s with this thought that she climbs into the hotel bed, having just finished showering from the exhausting day they had. After brunch, they had done a full island tour, hiked to a small waterfall, and finished the day by going to a traditional luau dinner.</p>
<p>They both returned to the room tipsy, and absolutely all over each other, Tobin leading them into the shower.</p>
<p>Christen turns to see Tobin coming from the bathroom, smiling as she makes her way into the bed and promptly cuddles into her.</p>
<p>“Yeah? Something wear you out a little?” She says, laughing as she reaches up to turn the lamps off.</p>
<p>Tobin sits up to give her a glare, “Something? Try someONE.” She says with a laugh.</p>
<p>“Worth it though, right?” Christen says, leaning over to kiss the crease between her eyebrows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And how can Tobin not melt at that question?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You, are always worth it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for coming on this journey with me, and thank you again for the kind comments and kudos.</p>
<p>Considering another Nicholas Sparks book/movie next. We'll see what happens. </p>
<p>Holler.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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